Extended Study Blues

Confession time: I am not a full-time grad student.

This fact makes me feel inferior every day.

Technically, the three-year-plan isn't called part time, because the third year is full time hours. It's called extended study. And that's where I ended up after I was unable to get funding from the school. In some graduate programs, every student has an assistantship, and all you have to do to get one is be accepted into the program. Social Work is not one of those programs.

I think I applied for a total of fourteen assistantships and scholarships, and I got one catch-all letter from the university that said NOPE. And loans were not an option for the first semester, because I was too many payments behind on my undergraduate loans. I could have waited until those were paid off before starting grad school, but I had waited long enough. In my mind, applying to grad school had long passed the point of hemming and hawing and reached the point of do or die.

So. I signed up for the two classes to be extended study, kept both part-time jobs, and went on, worrying every step of the way that being extended study wasn't being a real grad student.

On orientation day I was quite relieved to see that about half of the people in the room were extended study. But what I didn't know at the time was that most extended study folk are that because they have real full-time jobs that they want to keep, unlike me with my two part-time jobs with odd hours. And shortly after classes began, I realized that I was the lone extended study student in both classrooms. I guess most extended study folk take night classes.

Perhaps it seems odd to be sad about having less work to do than my classmates. But I often feel just plain left out, with no field placement or research to speak of. I just keep quiet during those conversations.

I had originally thought that I would be able to go from extended study to full time later down the road, but after many emails sent to the associate dean, I finally got a meeting, which got me nothing but blank stares. Classes have to be taken in a very specific order, and it can't be switched up very easily. I thought the faculty would have dealt with my situation before, and would have a concrete plan for it, but they had only blank stares for me. And the repeated refrain of "you won't be able to graduate any earlier than May 2013." Which was never my concern to begin with. What I want is to simply take more classes. This is apparently a completely unheard of desire.

In conversation with the associate dean or social work admin or whatever she is, she made reference to "the extended study sections" of classes. Wait, hold up-- there were specific sections I was supposed to sign up for? Is that why I'm the odd one out? "Well, we generally assume that extended study students will take night classes, but yes, sometimes full-time students sign up for them." Actually, I'm the freak because I signed up for day classes, but thanks for driving that home even deeper.

I shall have "FREAK" stamped on my head at the nearest opportunity. But I'm also taking one extra class next semester. Since the faculty couldn't help me, I just went for it. And I am getting loans for next semester, that are actually covering the cost of the whole year, so my money problems will be soothed until they kick in again in 2013.

At least I have a whole two and a half years before I have to worry about how to use my M.S.S.W., right?