Since my plan to blog about He-Man and She-Ra was foiled by some sort of technical difficulty, and I'm not sitting through that thing twice in one night, I guess I'll blog about this episode of one of the best shows ever.
It begins with Blanche coming in the door, making sure none of the roommates are home, and then beckoning in her gentleman caller-- a mall Santa on his lunch break. Of course, the other three come home just as Blanche is running back out into the living room in Santa's beard. Dorothy deadpans, "Let me guess... you didn't expect us home so soon?" Rose is horrified that Santa would defile his uniform. Santa just slips out the door wordlessly. Wise man.
The girls are jaded by the overcrowded shopping mall and impersonal gifts, so they decide that they will all make gifts for each other. Sophia is less than impressed with this idea.
Next thing you know, it's the night before Christmas Eve, and the girls are exchanging their gifts before leaving to be with their families the following day. Rose's gift to Dorothy is a maple syrup spicket. Just to be mean, Sophia brings up the fact that Rose had originally planned to give Dorothy a set of pearl earrings.
Blanche's gift to everyone is a calendar-- The Men of Blanche's Boudoir. Somewhere there is a gag reel clip where the producers and crew pasted pictures of themselves onto the prop calendars. It does not appear to be on youtube.
It's mentioned before the girls head to bed that Rose has to work in the morning, so the others will have to pick her up on their way to the airport. So you know that's going to be important.
Sure enough, Dorothy and Blanche come in to the grief center to pick up Rose while Sophia is waiting in the car. They encounter a man who plays with matches and a pathological liar while waiting for Rose to finish counseling one of the principal backers of Howard the Duck. Then, in walks a Santa with a gun. But he doesn't want money, he just wants some people to spend Christmas with. When they ask why the gun, he makes the fair point that if he'd just asked them to spend Christmas with him, they wouldn't have done it.
Soon Sophia walks in to see what's taking so long. Being the fearless Italian that she is, she grabs the gun and exclaims, "This is a toy!" Then chides Dorothy, "You call yourself an Italian and you can't tell the difference between a toy and a real piece?"
The girls make it to the airport just in time to hear that all flights are cancelled due to weather. Sophia takes her anger out on a Hare Krishna.
Next we see them at a diner, and we're told that they've had car trouble since we last saw them. Blanche mentions that she met her husband on Christmas Eve, and then goes on to tell a story that Dorothy claims one could get herpes just by hearing. Which turns out not to be the story of how she met George at all, just a more interesting story. The waiter gives the girls complimentary cheesecake, and when he hears that they're having a rough Christmas, says that he's sad he has to work instead of being at home with his family. He is shocked to hear them say that they can't be with their families either-- from hearing them talk, he assumed they were family. It's not mentioned that Dorothy and Sophia are. The girls are touched that it took a total stranger to point out that they are spending Christmas with family. Things get a little sappy for a moment, until Sophia says "What the hell is this, The Waltons?" I love Sophia.
To repay the waiter, they offer to watch the diner for him so he can spend a little time with his family. Which seems like a liability issue waiting to happen, but he's thrilled to take them up on it.
The girls then realize it's snowing- unusual for Miami- and go to put mood music on the jukebox, but Rose hits the wrong button and it's The Beach Boys "Surfin Safari." Dorothy declares, "This Christmas, it fits" and we fade out on a Christmas-Card-esque picture of the four of them gazing out the window.
I need some sleep! Merry Christmas!
Visuals: 3 out of 5
Spirit: 3.5 out of 5
Nostalgia: 3 out of 5
Humor: 5 out of 5
Music: 1 out of 5
Overall: 3.5 out of 5
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Interim frustration...
Well, crap. I had typed up a blog about the He-Man and She-Ra Christmas special, and when I went to post it, it vanished into thin air. Suddenly I wasn't logged in anymore, and the draft didn't save. I guess blogger is not all about He-Man and She-Ra. I'm not watching that thing again, so I'll have to figure out something else.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Twelve Blogs of Christmas #11: A Muppet Family Christmas
My FAVORITE SPECIAL EVER-- so I have to be brief, or else I'll be overly verbose. Seriously, this special is exactly like curling up under a warm blanket and catching up with dear friends. It's the only time ALL THE MUPPETS were ever ALL together.
Bootlegs of this special are very precious, because not only does it not air on TV anymore, it has never been released on dvd in its entirety. A version was released at some point in the 90's, but it was missing FIVE SONGS, y'all. Which caused a massive outcry among fans. And now, all the Muppet franchises within are owned by different companies, so it would be a copyright nightmare to try and release it again.
Begins with the Muppets singing "We Need a Little Christmas" on their way to Fozzie's mother's house, where they will arrive without calling. Unbeknownst to them, Mrs. Bear is planning to spend Christmas in Malibu while renting her house out to Doc from Fraggle Rock.
Animal has two Crowning Moments of Funny in a row-- first "Peace on Earth-- Gimme Presents!" then answering the phone only to declare "oh. Pig." and throw it down. Meanwhile, Sam the Eagle wonders "Why am I here?" I have found myself quoting that more than once.
The chef doesn't want rats and chickens in his kitchen, so they send them up to his bedroom. A turkey has arrived for the holiday, and Gonzo tries to warn him, but the turkey doesn't listen to Gonzo. Kermit and Robin sing "Jingle Bells" which then blends into an Electric Mayhem rendition of "Jingle Bell Rock."
Fozzie builds a snowman and quickly bonds with him, forming a comedy team. They sing a song that kind of resembles "Sleigh Ride." All the woodland animals are chuckling, and so is Doc. Also, by now the "careful of the icy patch" running gag has been established. Just go with it. Oh, and also, it's cold enough to freeze your Winnebago. I always say that when it's really cold, and for some reason, people look at me funny.
Classic line! "I don't care if the turkey says the dog's the turkey! The dog is not the turkey! The turkey's the turkey, you turkey!"
They all watch a video of when they were the Muppet Babies, which defies all laws of continuity, but the Muppets have always played fast and loose with continuity. The baby Muppets sing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town."
The Sesame Street gang arrives caroling (singing "Deck the Halls"), which then leads to my favorite exchange.
"Hi there, we're Ernie and Bert!"
"Well, hi there yourself, I'm Doc."
"Did you know Doc starts with the letter 'D'?"
"Yes."
"And yes starts with the letter 'y'!"
"True..."
"And true starts with the letter 't'!"
"What is this?"
"Where we come from, this is small talk."
The turkey diverts the chef's attention to Big Bird. There is thunder.
The Sesame Street gang puts on a play of "Twas the Night Before Christmas," which leads Sam the Eagle to cry out, "Is nothing sacred?"
Bonds are forming-- Oscar the Grouch welcomes Rizzo the Rat into his can, Animal likes Cookie Monster.
Kermit's starting to worry about Miss Piggy, who hasn't made it to the farmhouse yet, and the weather is starting to get bad. Fozzie wants to cheer Kermit up with a comedy routine, but this plan is ruined by Statler and Waldorf, who have appeared out of nowhere to visit Fozzie's mom, Fozzie just stands there, all "Is my mom having tea with Cthulhu?"
Big Bird gives the chef a gift and they sing "The Christmas Song" together, so the chef decides there will be no bird-eating this Christmas, instead they will all have shredded wheat and cranberry sauce.
Doc sets off to find Miss Piggy, showing what a sweet guy he really is, which always surprised me when I was little- for some reason, I always thought Doc would be mean. I don't know why I thought that, except that the Fraggles were always trying not to be seen by him. Speaking of the Fraggles, Kermit and Robin go through a Fraggle hole and meet them. Robin describes Christmas to the Fraggles as "when you gather together with those you love, and wish each other peace on Earth," which I have always liked, and it sounds like what Jim Henson would have said. The Fraggles are also celebrating an unnamed holiday, which involves them taking turns giving each other the same nice shiny pebble. This year, Mokey gives it to Boober, who then gives it to Robin. They sing a song called "Pass It On," which is an original to the Fraggles, but not to this special.
Miss Piggy arrives, not freezing and sickly like Kermit expects, but in a dog sled, with a fancy white coat and Doc in a costume with a tall fur hat, that I feel like there ought to be a term for, but I don't know what it is. She and Kermit have an actual romantic moment as she sings "There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays," and then she slips on the icy patch.
All the Muppets have a massive carol sing, which is so loud that even the Fraggles come out to investigate. But the special doesn't end there-- first Kermit gives Miss Piggy a live mink (who claims to be her biggest fan) and Robin gives Grover the Fraggle pebble that Boober gave him. And I just now realized that my bootleg is missing a tiny scene of Fozzie's mom hanging his stocking. Well, that's very disheartening. I really thought I had the whole thing. But wait- I have another bootleg around somewhere. I'll have to check that one.
BUT the most important part comes after all of that, after Doc has come in dressed as Santa and the Muppets have begun singing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" when Jim Henson pokes his head out of the kitchen and says to Sprocket, "Well, they certainly seem to be having a good time out there, Sprocket. I like it when they have a good time." And I tear up a little, because I imagine him saying that now as he looks down at his creations and fans still enjoying his work. Jim Henson cameos were always rare, so this special is a rare and precious gem indeed.
Visuals: 4 out of 5
Spirit: 5 out of 5
Nostalgia: 5 out of 5
Humor: 5 out of 5
Music: 5 out of 5
Overall: 5 out of 5
Bootlegs of this special are very precious, because not only does it not air on TV anymore, it has never been released on dvd in its entirety. A version was released at some point in the 90's, but it was missing FIVE SONGS, y'all. Which caused a massive outcry among fans. And now, all the Muppet franchises within are owned by different companies, so it would be a copyright nightmare to try and release it again.
Begins with the Muppets singing "We Need a Little Christmas" on their way to Fozzie's mother's house, where they will arrive without calling. Unbeknownst to them, Mrs. Bear is planning to spend Christmas in Malibu while renting her house out to Doc from Fraggle Rock.
Animal has two Crowning Moments of Funny in a row-- first "Peace on Earth-- Gimme Presents!" then answering the phone only to declare "oh. Pig." and throw it down. Meanwhile, Sam the Eagle wonders "Why am I here?" I have found myself quoting that more than once.
The chef doesn't want rats and chickens in his kitchen, so they send them up to his bedroom. A turkey has arrived for the holiday, and Gonzo tries to warn him, but the turkey doesn't listen to Gonzo. Kermit and Robin sing "Jingle Bells" which then blends into an Electric Mayhem rendition of "Jingle Bell Rock."
Fozzie builds a snowman and quickly bonds with him, forming a comedy team. They sing a song that kind of resembles "Sleigh Ride." All the woodland animals are chuckling, and so is Doc. Also, by now the "careful of the icy patch" running gag has been established. Just go with it. Oh, and also, it's cold enough to freeze your Winnebago. I always say that when it's really cold, and for some reason, people look at me funny.
Classic line! "I don't care if the turkey says the dog's the turkey! The dog is not the turkey! The turkey's the turkey, you turkey!"
They all watch a video of when they were the Muppet Babies, which defies all laws of continuity, but the Muppets have always played fast and loose with continuity. The baby Muppets sing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town."
The Sesame Street gang arrives caroling (singing "Deck the Halls"), which then leads to my favorite exchange.
"Hi there, we're Ernie and Bert!"
"Well, hi there yourself, I'm Doc."
"Did you know Doc starts with the letter 'D'?"
"Yes."
"And yes starts with the letter 'y'!"
"True..."
"And true starts with the letter 't'!"
"What is this?"
"Where we come from, this is small talk."
The turkey diverts the chef's attention to Big Bird. There is thunder.
The Sesame Street gang puts on a play of "Twas the Night Before Christmas," which leads Sam the Eagle to cry out, "Is nothing sacred?"
Bonds are forming-- Oscar the Grouch welcomes Rizzo the Rat into his can, Animal likes Cookie Monster.
Kermit's starting to worry about Miss Piggy, who hasn't made it to the farmhouse yet, and the weather is starting to get bad. Fozzie wants to cheer Kermit up with a comedy routine, but this plan is ruined by Statler and Waldorf, who have appeared out of nowhere to visit Fozzie's mom, Fozzie just stands there, all "Is my mom having tea with Cthulhu?"
Big Bird gives the chef a gift and they sing "The Christmas Song" together, so the chef decides there will be no bird-eating this Christmas, instead they will all have shredded wheat and cranberry sauce.
Doc sets off to find Miss Piggy, showing what a sweet guy he really is, which always surprised me when I was little- for some reason, I always thought Doc would be mean. I don't know why I thought that, except that the Fraggles were always trying not to be seen by him. Speaking of the Fraggles, Kermit and Robin go through a Fraggle hole and meet them. Robin describes Christmas to the Fraggles as "when you gather together with those you love, and wish each other peace on Earth," which I have always liked, and it sounds like what Jim Henson would have said. The Fraggles are also celebrating an unnamed holiday, which involves them taking turns giving each other the same nice shiny pebble. This year, Mokey gives it to Boober, who then gives it to Robin. They sing a song called "Pass It On," which is an original to the Fraggles, but not to this special.
Miss Piggy arrives, not freezing and sickly like Kermit expects, but in a dog sled, with a fancy white coat and Doc in a costume with a tall fur hat, that I feel like there ought to be a term for, but I don't know what it is. She and Kermit have an actual romantic moment as she sings "There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays," and then she slips on the icy patch.
All the Muppets have a massive carol sing, which is so loud that even the Fraggles come out to investigate. But the special doesn't end there-- first Kermit gives Miss Piggy a live mink (who claims to be her biggest fan) and Robin gives Grover the Fraggle pebble that Boober gave him. And I just now realized that my bootleg is missing a tiny scene of Fozzie's mom hanging his stocking. Well, that's very disheartening. I really thought I had the whole thing. But wait- I have another bootleg around somewhere. I'll have to check that one.
BUT the most important part comes after all of that, after Doc has come in dressed as Santa and the Muppets have begun singing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" when Jim Henson pokes his head out of the kitchen and says to Sprocket, "Well, they certainly seem to be having a good time out there, Sprocket. I like it when they have a good time." And I tear up a little, because I imagine him saying that now as he looks down at his creations and fans still enjoying his work. Jim Henson cameos were always rare, so this special is a rare and precious gem indeed.
Visuals: 4 out of 5
Spirit: 5 out of 5
Nostalgia: 5 out of 5
Humor: 5 out of 5
Music: 5 out of 5
Overall: 5 out of 5
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Twelve Blogs of Christmas #10: The Smurfs Christmas Special
From 1982, the year I was born, comes this little gem starring everybody's favorite blue creatures and... Satan. You think I'm kidding, but the villain in this story is Satan. They don't come out and say it, but it's pretty clear.
Three things are happening:
1. The smurfs are getting ready for their Christmas celebration.
2. Gargamel is complaining about Christmas and how he hates the smurfs. What is his deal with them? Does he just hate them because they are there? I never understood.
3. Two kids are riding a sleigh with their grandfather, on their way to visit their uncle, when their sleigh is flipped by an encounter with some unseen animal.
From there, these events converge as the kids knock on Gargamel's door for help and tell him that their grandfather is unconscious in the snow. Gargamel slams the door in their faces, because he is a jerk. Meanwhile, the kids' uncle has realized that they should have arrived by now, so he sends out a search party.
Gargamel is still whining when the mysterious dude who is totally Satan shows up at Gargamel's door. He offers to give Gargamel the power to destroy the smurfs if Gargamel kidnaps the children for him. His reason is that the kids' uncle does too much good, and gets in the way of his work. See what I mean?
The children are singing, and the smurfs hear them and rush to their aid. Papa Smurf dispatches the others to find the sleigh, which they do, and the uncle has left a note on it saying that grandpa is okay.
For some reason, the children think Papa Smurf is Santa. They may both wear red and have white beards, but Santa has never been described as tiny and blue. The smurfs all sing a song that says "Goodness makes the badness go away."
Gargamel appears and grabs the children. Poor Azrael is trailing after him through the snow. The smurfs follow and are understandably disturbed to hear that Satan is giving Gargamel the means to destroy the smurf village. Which apparently, based on Gargamel's subsequent actions, involve standing outside the mushroom houses taunting the smurfs, who aren't even home. Oh, ok, he says some words to make the mushrooms shrivel up. Or something.
Gargamel then tries to tell the uncle that the children have been kidnapped so he can collect a reward. Satan is none too pleased to hear this. So he makes a bunch of snakes appear. Yeah, that happened. The smurfs are so freaked out that they're beginning to even worry about Gargamel. Which is fair, because as Gargamel is trying to excuse himself, Satan says, "Someone as nasty as you is always of use to me in my work. Therefore, you'll accompany me and the children on THE FINAL JOURNEY." When the children ask where they are going, he says, "Home. MY HOME" and a ring of fire appears around all of them. SEE?
The smurfs are still close by, and as usual, Papa Smurf knows just what to do. He gets the smurfs to sing their song as loud as they can, because the power of goodness really will make the badness go away. He yells to the kids to join in, and they do, which seems to make the fire go down some. But what really does the trick is when Gargamel joins in. The fire disappears, and so does Satan. And at that exact moment, the uncle and grandfather appear. Gargamel is about to collect his reward when the children tell the uncle that he was mean to them. But then they say not to hurt him, because it's Christmas. Sadly, it does not seem that Gargamel's heart has grown three sizes this day. He runs off, still complaining about things being unfair or something.
Smurf village is still looking sparse, until suddenly it isn't, because it's a Christmas miracle, I guess. And that's pretty much that.
Visuals: 2 out of 5
Spirit: 2 out of 5
Nostalgia: 3 out of 5
Humor: 2 out of 5
Music: 1 out of 5
Overall: 2 out of 5
Three things are happening:
1. The smurfs are getting ready for their Christmas celebration.
2. Gargamel is complaining about Christmas and how he hates the smurfs. What is his deal with them? Does he just hate them because they are there? I never understood.
3. Two kids are riding a sleigh with their grandfather, on their way to visit their uncle, when their sleigh is flipped by an encounter with some unseen animal.
From there, these events converge as the kids knock on Gargamel's door for help and tell him that their grandfather is unconscious in the snow. Gargamel slams the door in their faces, because he is a jerk. Meanwhile, the kids' uncle has realized that they should have arrived by now, so he sends out a search party.
Gargamel is still whining when the mysterious dude who is totally Satan shows up at Gargamel's door. He offers to give Gargamel the power to destroy the smurfs if Gargamel kidnaps the children for him. His reason is that the kids' uncle does too much good, and gets in the way of his work. See what I mean?
The children are singing, and the smurfs hear them and rush to their aid. Papa Smurf dispatches the others to find the sleigh, which they do, and the uncle has left a note on it saying that grandpa is okay.
For some reason, the children think Papa Smurf is Santa. They may both wear red and have white beards, but Santa has never been described as tiny and blue. The smurfs all sing a song that says "Goodness makes the badness go away."
Gargamel appears and grabs the children. Poor Azrael is trailing after him through the snow. The smurfs follow and are understandably disturbed to hear that Satan is giving Gargamel the means to destroy the smurf village. Which apparently, based on Gargamel's subsequent actions, involve standing outside the mushroom houses taunting the smurfs, who aren't even home. Oh, ok, he says some words to make the mushrooms shrivel up. Or something.
Gargamel then tries to tell the uncle that the children have been kidnapped so he can collect a reward. Satan is none too pleased to hear this. So he makes a bunch of snakes appear. Yeah, that happened. The smurfs are so freaked out that they're beginning to even worry about Gargamel. Which is fair, because as Gargamel is trying to excuse himself, Satan says, "Someone as nasty as you is always of use to me in my work. Therefore, you'll accompany me and the children on THE FINAL JOURNEY." When the children ask where they are going, he says, "Home. MY HOME" and a ring of fire appears around all of them. SEE?
The smurfs are still close by, and as usual, Papa Smurf knows just what to do. He gets the smurfs to sing their song as loud as they can, because the power of goodness really will make the badness go away. He yells to the kids to join in, and they do, which seems to make the fire go down some. But what really does the trick is when Gargamel joins in. The fire disappears, and so does Satan. And at that exact moment, the uncle and grandfather appear. Gargamel is about to collect his reward when the children tell the uncle that he was mean to them. But then they say not to hurt him, because it's Christmas. Sadly, it does not seem that Gargamel's heart has grown three sizes this day. He runs off, still complaining about things being unfair or something.
Smurf village is still looking sparse, until suddenly it isn't, because it's a Christmas miracle, I guess. And that's pretty much that.
Visuals: 2 out of 5
Spirit: 2 out of 5
Nostalgia: 3 out of 5
Humor: 2 out of 5
Music: 1 out of 5
Overall: 2 out of 5
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Twelve Blogs of Christmas #9: Scrubs "My Own Personal Jesus"
I have to admit that I've had a little trouble getting into the Christmas spirit this year. I have had to make myself go through my normally much-anticipated rituals, and I haven't even watched some of my very favorite Christmas specials. So, tonight I'm watching an episode about people who are having trouble getting into the spirit, which is what JD opens this first-season episode telling us. Spending all your time in the hospital, including Christmas Eve, kind of puts a damper on holiday festivities. So he's coping with inappropriate bikini fantasies. Of course.
Elliot is working in the free clinic, where Dr. Kelso is being mean and sexist, because that's what he does. Oh, and she has a 19-year-old patient with abdominal pain who turns out to be eight months pregnant and didn't know it. This is only mentioned in dialogue, but it will become important.
JD has an amusing fantasy about being able to fix a patient like the Fonz fixes the jukebox, and then his patient actually does wake up and surprise everyone, which Turk proclaims a miracle. Turk is portrayed as very religious in this episode (not Conservative or obnoxious about it, just very devoted to his faith), and I can't think of a single other episode where that was the case. Maybe it's just not something he talks about except at Christmas time. He tries to get JD and Carla into the spirit by pointing out a bright star in the distance and comparing it to the star of Bethlehem. JD is like, yeah, whatever, that's the Christmas tree in the park. Because symbolism means nothing to him.
Elliot's patient is rhapsodizing about the very tree that the others were just looking at when Elliot drops the pregnancy bombshell. Then, because she wants to prove Kelso was wrong when he said she would eventually turn to a "female specialty," she ditches the patient. Whose name is Meredith, which is my middle name.
In the cafeteria, Turk is wearing antlers and a Rudolph nose and still trying to rally the troops. Laverne, who will later become the show's token outspoken Christian, is as despondent as everyone else. Turk wants JD and Carla to go to Christmas mass with him between night shift and morning shift. Wow, that is dedication. JD is whining about not wanting to go to mass and knocks over a Christmas tree. Yeah... one guess which character is not at all happy about that.
JD is videotaping a birth, but that doesn't have much to do with anything...
Elliot's patient took off; that's not the least bit surprising.
While Turk is trying to sleep in the on call room, we get a little song about what goes on in the hospital on Christmas Eve:
Twelve beaten children
Eleven drive-by shootings
Ten frozen homeless
Nine amputations
Eight burn victims
Seven strangled shoppers
Six random knifings
Five suicides
Four beaten wives
Three O.D.'s
Two shattered skulls
And a drunk who drove into a tree
I think that's kind of the textbook definition of crossing the line from funny into NOT EVEN FUNNY.
By the time the night's over, Turk's spirit has been beaten out of him. He calls off the plans for mass and declares he's NEVER going back. Elliot is trying to track down the pregnant girl, even though it's her day off, but she's not having any luck. And Dr. Kelso is making fun of her. What an ass.
Carla takes Turk up to the rooftop at dusk to try and lift his spirits, but it doesn't work. Just after we see Elliot tell JD that she reached a 911 operator who got a call from a girl in labor but then lost the signal, we're back on the roof, where it's now night time, with Turk, who is sadly playing with his cross necklace when he looks up and sees the star in the park. Something unseen moves him to action. He runs all the way to the tree in the park, where sure enough, Meredith is in labor, alone and scared. They skip over the delivery, so next thing we see is the whole gang surrounding her and her newborn, as well as EMTS. Carla asks Turk how he knew Meredith was there, and he doesn't know how he knew-- he just knew. JD's voiceover states that Turk was right all along, and miracles do happen if you're willing to look for them. He has a weird little moment of imagining all the people there as a nativity scene. We don't see where Meredith and her baby go, as after the fantasy, it's just the four main characters gazing up at the tree. JD earnestly says, "God bless us, every one." And they all call him a big dork, which I guess he deserves. I love him though- except for the inappropriate bikini fantasies.
Visuals: 2 out of 5
Spirit: 3 out of 5
Nostalgia: 1 out of 5
Humor: 4 out of 5
Music: 1 out of 5
Overall: 3.5 out of 5
Elliot is working in the free clinic, where Dr. Kelso is being mean and sexist, because that's what he does. Oh, and she has a 19-year-old patient with abdominal pain who turns out to be eight months pregnant and didn't know it. This is only mentioned in dialogue, but it will become important.
JD has an amusing fantasy about being able to fix a patient like the Fonz fixes the jukebox, and then his patient actually does wake up and surprise everyone, which Turk proclaims a miracle. Turk is portrayed as very religious in this episode (not Conservative or obnoxious about it, just very devoted to his faith), and I can't think of a single other episode where that was the case. Maybe it's just not something he talks about except at Christmas time. He tries to get JD and Carla into the spirit by pointing out a bright star in the distance and comparing it to the star of Bethlehem. JD is like, yeah, whatever, that's the Christmas tree in the park. Because symbolism means nothing to him.
Elliot's patient is rhapsodizing about the very tree that the others were just looking at when Elliot drops the pregnancy bombshell. Then, because she wants to prove Kelso was wrong when he said she would eventually turn to a "female specialty," she ditches the patient. Whose name is Meredith, which is my middle name.
In the cafeteria, Turk is wearing antlers and a Rudolph nose and still trying to rally the troops. Laverne, who will later become the show's token outspoken Christian, is as despondent as everyone else. Turk wants JD and Carla to go to Christmas mass with him between night shift and morning shift. Wow, that is dedication. JD is whining about not wanting to go to mass and knocks over a Christmas tree. Yeah... one guess which character is not at all happy about that.
JD is videotaping a birth, but that doesn't have much to do with anything...
Elliot's patient took off; that's not the least bit surprising.
While Turk is trying to sleep in the on call room, we get a little song about what goes on in the hospital on Christmas Eve:
Twelve beaten children
Eleven drive-by shootings
Ten frozen homeless
Nine amputations
Eight burn victims
Seven strangled shoppers
Six random knifings
Five suicides
Four beaten wives
Three O.D.'s
Two shattered skulls
And a drunk who drove into a tree
I think that's kind of the textbook definition of crossing the line from funny into NOT EVEN FUNNY.
By the time the night's over, Turk's spirit has been beaten out of him. He calls off the plans for mass and declares he's NEVER going back. Elliot is trying to track down the pregnant girl, even though it's her day off, but she's not having any luck. And Dr. Kelso is making fun of her. What an ass.
Carla takes Turk up to the rooftop at dusk to try and lift his spirits, but it doesn't work. Just after we see Elliot tell JD that she reached a 911 operator who got a call from a girl in labor but then lost the signal, we're back on the roof, where it's now night time, with Turk, who is sadly playing with his cross necklace when he looks up and sees the star in the park. Something unseen moves him to action. He runs all the way to the tree in the park, where sure enough, Meredith is in labor, alone and scared. They skip over the delivery, so next thing we see is the whole gang surrounding her and her newborn, as well as EMTS. Carla asks Turk how he knew Meredith was there, and he doesn't know how he knew-- he just knew. JD's voiceover states that Turk was right all along, and miracles do happen if you're willing to look for them. He has a weird little moment of imagining all the people there as a nativity scene. We don't see where Meredith and her baby go, as after the fantasy, it's just the four main characters gazing up at the tree. JD earnestly says, "God bless us, every one." And they all call him a big dork, which I guess he deserves. I love him though- except for the inappropriate bikini fantasies.
Visuals: 2 out of 5
Spirit: 3 out of 5
Nostalgia: 1 out of 5
Humor: 4 out of 5
Music: 1 out of 5
Overall: 3.5 out of 5
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Twelve Blogs of Christmas #8: Family Matters "Christmas is Where the Heart Is"
I think we can all agree that Family Matters was never a great show. It ran the gamut from overly sappy to just freaking weird. I have to admit that when Urkel was at the height of his popularity, I was just at the target age to find him hilarious, so in my mind, there's a weird mix of nostalgia mixed with embarrassment associated with this show.
However. I have a special nostalgia reserved for their Christmas episodes. They always used their trademark sappiness to their advantage when it came to Christmas. I have been disappointed that Nick at Nite has been showing episodes lately, but not Christmas episodes. However, I did manage to find one and DVR it. I don't remember this one specifically, but I'll watch and blog and see what we've got here.
Teaser: Richie taking bribes and telling family members where gifts are hidden.
After opening sequence: It's Christmas Eve. Winslow house is all decked out in Christmas cheer, but the patriarch isn't in the spirit because, he says, Christmas brings out the worst in people. As a cop, he's seeing the bottom of the barrel. Next scene reveals Urkel, wrapping gifts in the Winslow kitchen, who knows why. He's pretty muscular at this point, so I think we're mid-series. Urkel is anal about gift wrapping-- "Gifts are like fish- wrap them badly, and they stink." He's less than impressed with Carl's sloppy attempt to wrap a music box, so he offers to do it for him. I expect him to end up breaking the music box, but, to my surprise, it's Carl that breaks it, by dropping a heavier gift on top of it. Carl appears shell-shocked. Urkel has to gently prod him to go out and buy a new gift. He mentions they'll take the train, and you know as well as I do that sitcom characters only use public transportation when something bad is about to happen.
The people on the train are in very poor spirits. Fistfights, name calling, a drunk guy in a Santa suit, you get the picture. Carl makes the mistake of saying "things can't get any worse." That's NEVER a good thing to say! Immediately, the power goes out and the train grinds to a halt.
In a manner reminiscent of the episode of Full House with Christmas in the airport, Urkel attempts to rally everyone on the train car together to make the best of their predicament. However, he gets a more realistic response than Uncle Jesse did, in that everyone just glares at him like, "who is this nerd, and why won't he shut up?" One person even throws something at him.
Back at the Winslow homestead, the power is out there too. Grandma is reading the Christmas story from the Bible. They're worried about Dad.
Back on the train, Steve is trying to get the train passengers to sing "12 Days of Christmas." Only one guy takes him up on it, giving an enthusiastic "FIVE GOOOOOOOLDEN RIIIIIIIIIINGS." But by the time the song is over, people are threatening him with actual physical violence. Instead of sitting down and shutting up like most people would, he speechifies some more, but this time actually gets somewhere when he starts talking to people-- asks one woman about her grandchildren, another about her engagement ring. These very people who were threatening him moments before begin to soften. He then gets into "Christmas is a feeling, it can be anywhere" part of his speech, and yeah, he's ripping Uncle Jesse off wholesale. And by this time, the whole car has softened, and they set to work decorating a tree that someone had with him. As soon as everyone's spirits have been properly lifted, the train starts moving again. Huzzah! Carl starts singing "Hark the Herald Angel Sings," and this time everyone joins in. We fade out and credits roll without even checking in with the rest of the Winslows.
That... was a lot cheesier than I remembered the Christmas episodes being. Kind of disappointing.
Visuals: 1 out of 5
Spirit: 2 out of 5
Nostalgia: 2 out of 5
Humor: 2 out of 5
Music: 0 out of 5
Overall: 2 out of 5
However. I have a special nostalgia reserved for their Christmas episodes. They always used their trademark sappiness to their advantage when it came to Christmas. I have been disappointed that Nick at Nite has been showing episodes lately, but not Christmas episodes. However, I did manage to find one and DVR it. I don't remember this one specifically, but I'll watch and blog and see what we've got here.
Teaser: Richie taking bribes and telling family members where gifts are hidden.
After opening sequence: It's Christmas Eve. Winslow house is all decked out in Christmas cheer, but the patriarch isn't in the spirit because, he says, Christmas brings out the worst in people. As a cop, he's seeing the bottom of the barrel. Next scene reveals Urkel, wrapping gifts in the Winslow kitchen, who knows why. He's pretty muscular at this point, so I think we're mid-series. Urkel is anal about gift wrapping-- "Gifts are like fish- wrap them badly, and they stink." He's less than impressed with Carl's sloppy attempt to wrap a music box, so he offers to do it for him. I expect him to end up breaking the music box, but, to my surprise, it's Carl that breaks it, by dropping a heavier gift on top of it. Carl appears shell-shocked. Urkel has to gently prod him to go out and buy a new gift. He mentions they'll take the train, and you know as well as I do that sitcom characters only use public transportation when something bad is about to happen.
The people on the train are in very poor spirits. Fistfights, name calling, a drunk guy in a Santa suit, you get the picture. Carl makes the mistake of saying "things can't get any worse." That's NEVER a good thing to say! Immediately, the power goes out and the train grinds to a halt.
In a manner reminiscent of the episode of Full House with Christmas in the airport, Urkel attempts to rally everyone on the train car together to make the best of their predicament. However, he gets a more realistic response than Uncle Jesse did, in that everyone just glares at him like, "who is this nerd, and why won't he shut up?" One person even throws something at him.
Back at the Winslow homestead, the power is out there too. Grandma is reading the Christmas story from the Bible. They're worried about Dad.
Back on the train, Steve is trying to get the train passengers to sing "12 Days of Christmas." Only one guy takes him up on it, giving an enthusiastic "FIVE GOOOOOOOLDEN RIIIIIIIIIINGS." But by the time the song is over, people are threatening him with actual physical violence. Instead of sitting down and shutting up like most people would, he speechifies some more, but this time actually gets somewhere when he starts talking to people-- asks one woman about her grandchildren, another about her engagement ring. These very people who were threatening him moments before begin to soften. He then gets into "Christmas is a feeling, it can be anywhere" part of his speech, and yeah, he's ripping Uncle Jesse off wholesale. And by this time, the whole car has softened, and they set to work decorating a tree that someone had with him. As soon as everyone's spirits have been properly lifted, the train starts moving again. Huzzah! Carl starts singing "Hark the Herald Angel Sings," and this time everyone joins in. We fade out and credits roll without even checking in with the rest of the Winslows.
That... was a lot cheesier than I remembered the Christmas episodes being. Kind of disappointing.
Visuals: 1 out of 5
Spirit: 2 out of 5
Nostalgia: 2 out of 5
Humor: 2 out of 5
Music: 0 out of 5
Overall: 2 out of 5
Monday, December 19, 2011
Twelve Blogs of Christmas #7: The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus
One of the lesser-known Rankin-Bass specials, from 1985. I didn't see it until the late 90's, but quickly fell in love with because of the faerie elements. It's based on a book by L. Frank Baum, which I have never read, but would like to. According to various internet sources that may or may not be correct, this was the last stop-motion Rankin-Bass specials AND the only one without a narrator.
Tingler, a sound nymph, is talking to the Great Ak. Both of them are impressive figures-- they don't look animated at all; they just look like dolls. Which I guess is what they are. Another lady arrives on the scene, and we're told that what's happening, basically, is that the immortals are gathering because tonight will be Santa's last sleigh ride. In other words, Santa's about to kick the bucket. The Great Ak is pitching the idea that Santa be granted immortality. Ladies and gentlemen, your frame story.
So, we flashback to Santa's origins: the Great Ak found a baby in the woods and took it to a lioness to take care of. Kind of like in The Jungle Book. Then one of the faeries, who has awesome turquoise hair and I totally want a doll of her, takes an interest in the child. There's weird editing here where it's hard to tell what's in the frame story and what's in the flashback as the Great Ak is talking--singing, actually-- about immortals and how they were always as they are now, so babies are a foreign concept. The faerie takes custody of the baby, over the lioness's protests. She names him Claus.
There's a not-impressive song with a montage of Claus growing up, though he doesn't appear to be an adult, maybe right around pubescent. The Great Ak tells him he needs to go into the world, because he's a man now. Claus doesn't know what a man is. His faerie mom also teaches him the word "mother", and it's a sweet, if awkward, moment. Also, when this was recorded, it was 47 degrees.
Claus is soaring with the Great Ak to see what's up with the world. They're invisible to all the other mortals. Claus watches some orphans being abused while picking turnips, and then the rich guy bitching about the tur'nip thief and another scamp who wants to le'\arn to read. The horror! Claus is like, WTF? I don't like this world, let's go home." He tells the Great Ak he doesn't want to be mortal, and the Great Ak is like, "um, tough shit." Next up on the tour: some kids training to be samurai, then some homeless orphans begging in the street. Finally, some men at war, fighting amongst themselves for what are known as "causes." Needless to say, Claus is not thrilled with what he's learned about manhood today. But, instead of going back to the woods and hiding under a rock for the rest of his life, as I would be tempted to do, he sets off back into the world, in hopes of making a difference. Tingler accompanies him, as does the lioness. Another montage of Claus aging into a middle-aged man. He appears to be living in cabin, still with Tingler and the lioness, now with the addition of a little black cat named Blinky. One night, a little orphan boy collapses in the snow right outside, so they bring him in to warm up. While he's asleep, Claus carves him a wooden cat that resembles Blinky. Apparently this is the world's first toy. The other orphans are so smitten by the wooden kitty that they sing what seems like a reeeeaaaaaallllllly long song about it, mainly because they keep repeating the same words over and over: "We wanna wake up to a big surprise, a little wooden cat with yellow green eyes..." Which of course leads me to wonder, what if that was the only toy Santa ever learned to make? What if we all got wooden cats for Christmas, every year?
Fortunately, that doesn't happen, and in the next scene, Claus and Tingler and several faerie helpers are hard at work making different toys, when they get a threat thrown through the window from the Agwas. Agwas are sort of vaguely defined scary beings. They make children misbehave. Kind of like the Bad Idea Bears. And they don't want children to have toys. So they keep stealing the toys. But Claus is going to keep making them.
The Great Ak has a confrontation with the Agwas, and they're like, "Whatever, we don't care what you say," so Great Ak goes and gets his axe. And the King of the Agwas is like, "Go forth, Great Dragon, and INCINERATE THEM." Except that's actually what he says, and there really is a dragon. All of this over not wanting children to have toys! Of course, the dragon can't really incinerate the immortals, because, immortal. Yeah. The Agwas are defeated.
So Claus has loaded a bunch of toys onto a sled, but it's too heavy for him to pull. Any guesses as to what the solution might be? Anyone? Yep, REINDEER. It's not explained how they can fly. They get to a house, and it's locked, so what's Claus to do? Yep, chimney. And when he sees stockings hung by the fireplace to dry, why not use that as a place to put surprises? Why not indeed. So simple, so logical. The family knows just where the toys came from, because Claus, now earning the reputation of "Saint," is the only person in the world who can make toys.
The immortal who's in charge of the reindeer agrees that Claus can use them one night a year. And the only reason he has enough toys when the next Christmas (where they came up with that word isn't really discussed-- this special probably pisses Conservatives off) comes around is because they are magically able to recover the toys the Agwas stole.
Back to the frame, where the immortals unanimously decide that Santa is worthy of the mantle of immortality. They bestow it upon him, which looks exactly like placing a glowing blanket over him while he sleeps. But then we see Santa thank the Great Ak
and declare, In all this world there is nothing so beautiful as a happy child.
Visuals: 4 out of 5
Spirit: 3 out of 5
Nostalgia: 2 out of 5
Humor: 1 out of 5
Music: 2 out of 5
Overall: 3 out of 5
Tingler, a sound nymph, is talking to the Great Ak. Both of them are impressive figures-- they don't look animated at all; they just look like dolls. Which I guess is what they are. Another lady arrives on the scene, and we're told that what's happening, basically, is that the immortals are gathering because tonight will be Santa's last sleigh ride. In other words, Santa's about to kick the bucket. The Great Ak is pitching the idea that Santa be granted immortality. Ladies and gentlemen, your frame story.
So, we flashback to Santa's origins: the Great Ak found a baby in the woods and took it to a lioness to take care of. Kind of like in The Jungle Book. Then one of the faeries, who has awesome turquoise hair and I totally want a doll of her, takes an interest in the child. There's weird editing here where it's hard to tell what's in the frame story and what's in the flashback as the Great Ak is talking--singing, actually-- about immortals and how they were always as they are now, so babies are a foreign concept. The faerie takes custody of the baby, over the lioness's protests. She names him Claus.
There's a not-impressive song with a montage of Claus growing up, though he doesn't appear to be an adult, maybe right around pubescent. The Great Ak tells him he needs to go into the world, because he's a man now. Claus doesn't know what a man is. His faerie mom also teaches him the word "mother", and it's a sweet, if awkward, moment. Also, when this was recorded, it was 47 degrees.
Claus is soaring with the Great Ak to see what's up with the world. They're invisible to all the other mortals. Claus watches some orphans being abused while picking turnips, and then the rich guy bitching about the tur'nip thief and another scamp who wants to le'\arn to read. The horror! Claus is like, WTF? I don't like this world, let's go home." He tells the Great Ak he doesn't want to be mortal, and the Great Ak is like, "um, tough shit." Next up on the tour: some kids training to be samurai, then some homeless orphans begging in the street. Finally, some men at war, fighting amongst themselves for what are known as "causes." Needless to say, Claus is not thrilled with what he's learned about manhood today. But, instead of going back to the woods and hiding under a rock for the rest of his life, as I would be tempted to do, he sets off back into the world, in hopes of making a difference. Tingler accompanies him, as does the lioness. Another montage of Claus aging into a middle-aged man. He appears to be living in cabin, still with Tingler and the lioness, now with the addition of a little black cat named Blinky. One night, a little orphan boy collapses in the snow right outside, so they bring him in to warm up. While he's asleep, Claus carves him a wooden cat that resembles Blinky. Apparently this is the world's first toy. The other orphans are so smitten by the wooden kitty that they sing what seems like a reeeeaaaaaallllllly long song about it, mainly because they keep repeating the same words over and over: "We wanna wake up to a big surprise, a little wooden cat with yellow green eyes..." Which of course leads me to wonder, what if that was the only toy Santa ever learned to make? What if we all got wooden cats for Christmas, every year?
Fortunately, that doesn't happen, and in the next scene, Claus and Tingler and several faerie helpers are hard at work making different toys, when they get a threat thrown through the window from the Agwas. Agwas are sort of vaguely defined scary beings. They make children misbehave. Kind of like the Bad Idea Bears. And they don't want children to have toys. So they keep stealing the toys. But Claus is going to keep making them.
The Great Ak has a confrontation with the Agwas, and they're like, "Whatever, we don't care what you say," so Great Ak goes and gets his axe. And the King of the Agwas is like, "Go forth, Great Dragon, and INCINERATE THEM." Except that's actually what he says, and there really is a dragon. All of this over not wanting children to have toys! Of course, the dragon can't really incinerate the immortals, because, immortal. Yeah. The Agwas are defeated.
So Claus has loaded a bunch of toys onto a sled, but it's too heavy for him to pull. Any guesses as to what the solution might be? Anyone? Yep, REINDEER. It's not explained how they can fly. They get to a house, and it's locked, so what's Claus to do? Yep, chimney. And when he sees stockings hung by the fireplace to dry, why not use that as a place to put surprises? Why not indeed. So simple, so logical. The family knows just where the toys came from, because Claus, now earning the reputation of "Saint," is the only person in the world who can make toys.
The immortal who's in charge of the reindeer agrees that Claus can use them one night a year. And the only reason he has enough toys when the next Christmas (where they came up with that word isn't really discussed-- this special probably pisses Conservatives off) comes around is because they are magically able to recover the toys the Agwas stole.
Back to the frame, where the immortals unanimously decide that Santa is worthy of the mantle of immortality. They bestow it upon him, which looks exactly like placing a glowing blanket over him while he sleeps. But then we see Santa thank the Great Ak
and declare, In all this world there is nothing so beautiful as a happy child.
Visuals: 4 out of 5
Spirit: 3 out of 5
Nostalgia: 2 out of 5
Humor: 1 out of 5
Music: 2 out of 5
Overall: 3 out of 5
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Twelve Blogs of Christmas #6: A Chipmunk Christmas
From 1981, this is an early incarnation of Alvin and the Chipmunks. Not only are they not cgi, they are much more crudely drawn than the cartoons I remember watching. Wikipedia informs me that there was an animated series prior to this, which ran from 1961 to 1962. The series I remember came after this special, and had a much longer run, from 1983 to 1990.
The special begins with a doctor visiting a sick boy's home. The boy has pictures of Alvin and the Chipmunks taped above his bed. Then we cut to the chipmunk home, where the chipmunks wake Dave up singing "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas." Somehow this rude awakening results in Dave having shoes on his hands, a belt around his chest, and a pillow on his head with a hat on top of the pillow. I'm not even going to try to figure that one out.
Dave and the chipmunks are on their way to a recording session, and Alvin is very grumpy about having to work over Christmas vacation. Do the chipmunks go to school? I guess they do. Alvin's spirits brighten when Dave tells him he can play his harmonica. For some reason, while window shopping, Alvin wants to show his harmonica its "twin brother" in the display window. As he does this, he overhears the mother and sister of the sick boy we saw at the beginning. Apparently, Tommy (that's his name) wants this harmonica more than anything, and the sister doesn't understand why they can't get it for him. The mother is trying to explain they have to save everything they can to see that Tommy makes it through Christmas, and the sister has no idea what that means. "Make WHAT through Christmas?" Pretty naive, even for a child.
At the recording session, Alvin is sad. He takes off and literally FLIES down the road, his legs going like a propeller. I didn't know chipmunks could do that. Somehow he knows where Tommy lives, so he rushes in to give Tommy his harmonica, making up a story that Tommy won it in a drawing.
Alvin tells his brothers that he gave the harmonica away, but does not tell Dave. This becomes a problem when Dave books the chipmunks for a Christmas Eve performance at Carnegie Hall, which is to include a harmonica solo. Rather than come clean, Alvin dresses up as Santa Claus and rounds up some dogs to play the reindeer so that he can charge kids to have their picture taken. For some reason, this involves Theodore lowering Alvin onto Santa's chair with a pulley. Dave is angry when he discovers this, but seems to get over it quickly, as in the next scene he's reciting a poem in front of the fireplace, and waxing poetic about giving. But Alvin STILL doesn't tell Dave that he did give something important, he just worries about getting the money to replace the harmonica. Understandably, Dave thinks Alvin is being selfish and sends him to his room.
ETA: This just in! Omitted scene alert! After I posted this blog to facebook, my brother commented, "How did you skip over the crazy dream sequence with the mad professor and Lincoln Claus? That's the part that's stuck with me the most." To which I could only say, holy crap. I had a vague feeling that something was missing, but I wasn't sure what. That'll teach me to watch on ABC Family instead of locating my bootleg copies. So, tonight, I found the bootleg dvd-- which may have involved an argument with my husband about where it was and how dare he mess with something so sacred as my bootleg Christmas specials, because when all you want to do is watch cartoons about love and kindness and being with your loved ones, God help the loved one who should put any sort of obstacle in the way of that. But, it turned out that the dvds in question were in a perfectly safe place, so all is well.
Anyway, after Alvin gets sent to his room, he has a dream about walking along a path alongside a star and moon with faces, which makes me think of Care-a-Lot. Instead of Carebear territory, Alvin walks into Crashcup inc, mistaking it for a loan department, and talking to a long-nosed professor in a white coat who is working on inventing the spirit of Christmas. His incarnation of it so far features Abraham Lincoln dressed like Santa Claus, sitting in a pumpkin being pulled by a pink elephant with antlers. In other words, this is when the writers of Alvin and the Chipmunks took a smoke break. No wonder ABC Family deemed it family-unfriendly. The dream sequence is over quicker than I expected, and then we're back to where we left off. This concludes your Omitted Scene Alert.
The truth finally comes out when Tommy's mother calls Dave to say that the harmonica is doing wonders for Tommy. How did she have his phone number? Alvin misses this phone call, as he's busy staring at the harmonica in the store window. Then a little old lady appears out of nowhere and buys it for him for absolutely no reason. I'm guessing-- this is vaguely implied-- that she's a very lonely lady with no family, and she just wants to give something to a child so that she can pretend for a moment that she has grandchildren. Although a harmonica seems like an odd choice in that situation. Maybe she saw him staring at it. He plays "Silent Night" for her and a gathering crowd, and by the time Dave, Simon, and Theodore show up, there's no sign of the lady.
Tommy is off his sickbed for the show at Carnegie Hall, and plays the harmonica solo. So Alvin didn't really need the deus ex machina harmonica at all, did he?
Randomly, the special ends with Santa. He listens to the chipmunks singing as he flies over the city, then lands back at home. Mrs. Claus has her back to the viewer as she asks how it went. He says it went fine, and then suggests that she come out with him some Christmas. She says "Making children happy is your job; I guess I'm just an old homebody." She then winks at the viewer as we see that Mrs. Claus is, in fact, the old lady who bought Alvin the harmonica. Huh. I had completely forgotten that part.
Bit of a convoluted story for half an hour, but it's sweet.
Visuals: 3 out of 5
Spirit: 4 out of 5
Nostalgia: 3 out of 5
Humor: 2 out of 5
Music: 3 out of 5
Overall: 3 out of 5
The special begins with a doctor visiting a sick boy's home. The boy has pictures of Alvin and the Chipmunks taped above his bed. Then we cut to the chipmunk home, where the chipmunks wake Dave up singing "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas." Somehow this rude awakening results in Dave having shoes on his hands, a belt around his chest, and a pillow on his head with a hat on top of the pillow. I'm not even going to try to figure that one out.
Dave and the chipmunks are on their way to a recording session, and Alvin is very grumpy about having to work over Christmas vacation. Do the chipmunks go to school? I guess they do. Alvin's spirits brighten when Dave tells him he can play his harmonica. For some reason, while window shopping, Alvin wants to show his harmonica its "twin brother" in the display window. As he does this, he overhears the mother and sister of the sick boy we saw at the beginning. Apparently, Tommy (that's his name) wants this harmonica more than anything, and the sister doesn't understand why they can't get it for him. The mother is trying to explain they have to save everything they can to see that Tommy makes it through Christmas, and the sister has no idea what that means. "Make WHAT through Christmas?" Pretty naive, even for a child.
At the recording session, Alvin is sad. He takes off and literally FLIES down the road, his legs going like a propeller. I didn't know chipmunks could do that. Somehow he knows where Tommy lives, so he rushes in to give Tommy his harmonica, making up a story that Tommy won it in a drawing.
Alvin tells his brothers that he gave the harmonica away, but does not tell Dave. This becomes a problem when Dave books the chipmunks for a Christmas Eve performance at Carnegie Hall, which is to include a harmonica solo. Rather than come clean, Alvin dresses up as Santa Claus and rounds up some dogs to play the reindeer so that he can charge kids to have their picture taken. For some reason, this involves Theodore lowering Alvin onto Santa's chair with a pulley. Dave is angry when he discovers this, but seems to get over it quickly, as in the next scene he's reciting a poem in front of the fireplace, and waxing poetic about giving. But Alvin STILL doesn't tell Dave that he did give something important, he just worries about getting the money to replace the harmonica. Understandably, Dave thinks Alvin is being selfish and sends him to his room.
ETA: This just in! Omitted scene alert! After I posted this blog to facebook, my brother commented, "How did you skip over the crazy dream sequence with the mad professor and Lincoln Claus? That's the part that's stuck with me the most." To which I could only say, holy crap. I had a vague feeling that something was missing, but I wasn't sure what. That'll teach me to watch on ABC Family instead of locating my bootleg copies. So, tonight, I found the bootleg dvd-- which may have involved an argument with my husband about where it was and how dare he mess with something so sacred as my bootleg Christmas specials, because when all you want to do is watch cartoons about love and kindness and being with your loved ones, God help the loved one who should put any sort of obstacle in the way of that. But, it turned out that the dvds in question were in a perfectly safe place, so all is well.
Anyway, after Alvin gets sent to his room, he has a dream about walking along a path alongside a star and moon with faces, which makes me think of Care-a-Lot. Instead of Carebear territory, Alvin walks into Crashcup inc, mistaking it for a loan department, and talking to a long-nosed professor in a white coat who is working on inventing the spirit of Christmas. His incarnation of it so far features Abraham Lincoln dressed like Santa Claus, sitting in a pumpkin being pulled by a pink elephant with antlers. In other words, this is when the writers of Alvin and the Chipmunks took a smoke break. No wonder ABC Family deemed it family-unfriendly. The dream sequence is over quicker than I expected, and then we're back to where we left off. This concludes your Omitted Scene Alert.
The truth finally comes out when Tommy's mother calls Dave to say that the harmonica is doing wonders for Tommy. How did she have his phone number? Alvin misses this phone call, as he's busy staring at the harmonica in the store window. Then a little old lady appears out of nowhere and buys it for him for absolutely no reason. I'm guessing-- this is vaguely implied-- that she's a very lonely lady with no family, and she just wants to give something to a child so that she can pretend for a moment that she has grandchildren. Although a harmonica seems like an odd choice in that situation. Maybe she saw him staring at it. He plays "Silent Night" for her and a gathering crowd, and by the time Dave, Simon, and Theodore show up, there's no sign of the lady.
Tommy is off his sickbed for the show at Carnegie Hall, and plays the harmonica solo. So Alvin didn't really need the deus ex machina harmonica at all, did he?
Randomly, the special ends with Santa. He listens to the chipmunks singing as he flies over the city, then lands back at home. Mrs. Claus has her back to the viewer as she asks how it went. He says it went fine, and then suggests that she come out with him some Christmas. She says "Making children happy is your job; I guess I'm just an old homebody." She then winks at the viewer as we see that Mrs. Claus is, in fact, the old lady who bought Alvin the harmonica. Huh. I had completely forgotten that part.
Bit of a convoluted story for half an hour, but it's sweet.
Visuals: 3 out of 5
Spirit: 4 out of 5
Nostalgia: 3 out of 5
Humor: 2 out of 5
Music: 3 out of 5
Overall: 3 out of 5
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Twelve Blogs of Christmas #5: Ziggy's Gift
Today I am watching an Emmy-winning special that premiered in 1982, the same year I was born. I remember watching it when I was little, but all I remember are images. Want to watch too? Here you go:
I'm immediately struck by the animation. Yeah, it's simple line-drawn 2D animation, but it has a very serene stillness and the motions are very fluid-- it's perfect for a Christmas special.
Ziggy, that long-enduring bald everyman that everyone knows from the comics but no one seems to have particularly strong feelings about, does not talk at all during the special. He is wearing a short robe and slippers as he brushes his teeth, collects his newspaper, and watches the news on TV, where he learns that a bunch of charity collectors have been pocketing the money. At the same time, Ziggy sees an ad in the newspaper asking for honest charity collectors. Spurred to action, Ziggy runs to his dresser and gets dressed, breaking his mirror in the process. Oh, Ziggy, will you ever win?
Ziggy's dog Fuzz ties Ziggy's scarf around Ziggy's neck (without using his paws like hands, just by taking the scarf in his teeth and running around Ziggy). Ziggy smiles and ties the other end of the scarf around Fuzz's neck so that it doubles as a leash. Cute.
They walk down the street, pulling a sled for some reason, and something random happens leading them to have to rescue a tree from the middle of the road. Then a police officer lectures Ziggy for leaving his sled in the middle of the sidewalk. Whatever. The cop hits himself in the head with his own billy club as he's waving it about, and then doesn't notice as a creepy hand reaches out of a nearby trash can and swipes his wallet. Yikes! After Ziggy and Fuzz walk away, we see the yellow-eyed stringy-haired owner of that hand, and it's not a pretty sight. Oscar the Grouch would be ashamed that the reputation of trash can dwellers has been sullied.
The guy at the "Santas Wanted" place is overly enthusiastic about an applicant showing up. As the door closes, the "Santas Wanted" sign falls off the door to reveal its label: "Fly by Nite Loan Co." The cop sees this and says "hmm." Something is not on the up and up here. Ziggy misses several indicators of this: 1) the guy doesn't even read his application 2) there are no other applicants and 3) the sofa in the guy's office is in very poor condition. On TV, particularly cartoons, beat up sofas are always a sign of trouble. Even Fuzz is growling at the guy. Come on, Ziggy, open your eyes.
Ziggy gives some money to street musicians, and the yellow-eyed creep watches from inside a fire hydrant. Then-- oh, I remember this part!-- Ziggy walks by a display window with angel mannequins whose necks go up and down. They sing "Joy to the World", but skip like a bad recording. A spring pops out of one of them. The next display window advertises plastic poinsettias, aluminum trees, vinyl holly wreaths, and polyester pine cones, all surrounding a ginormous wind-up Santa that sputters and dies right in front of Ziggy. Nightmare fuel! Of course, this is the part my pre-school-aged brain retained. The music changes as Ziggy stops beside a mailbox. I bet we're about to see the yellow-eyed-creep again! Yup, there he is, just as Ziggy pulls out his bell. He steals a wrapped gift, seemingly out of nowhere, then a passerby puts another wrapped gift into the mailbox (with no address?), which causes a scuffle that knocks the mailbox over. While Ziggy is distracted by that, a drunk-looking Santa steals his spot. Ziggy shrugs and walks away, and the yellow-eyed creep steals the drunk Santa's outfit right off of his back. WTF?
Yellow-eyed creep now has everything he needs to set up his own bell-ringing station right beside Ziggy. Ziggy is a kind and gentle soul, so he's just like "whatever" and keeps ringing his bell. Fuzz, on the other hand, digs his teeth into yellow-eyed creep's leg and does not let go until yellow-eyed creep vacates the corner. Wow. Fuzz presents a scrap of yellow-eyed creep's pants to Ziggy as a trophy. Ziggy puts in his pocket, for some reason.
Presumably sometime later, they are walking down the street again, still pulling the sled with the tree on it. They pass a stray cat, and Ziggy ties the scrap of pants around its head like a kerchief and pats it on the head. Aww. The cat, of course, hops atop the sled. Ziggy then goes by the meat market for some reason, where a bunch of "live Xmas turkeys" are on display and looking very distressed. I don't remember this part, but it might have contributed to my vegetarianism. Somehow, without speaking, Ziggy indicates that he would like to buy ALL the turkeys.
I thought we had lost yellow-eyed creep, but he's still trailing Ziggy. he makes a grab for the kettle of money, but it appears empty. However, when Ziggy reaches into it for $175 to pay for all the turkeys, the money is there. Ziggy sets the turkeys free and shakes the butcher's hand. I've always been indifferent to Ziggy as a comic strip, but this special is kind of making me love him.
The cop from earlier shows up to question the butcher about the turkeys on the loose, and is interested to hear about the short Santa who paid with cash out of an iron kettle. Yeah, that doesn't look good. Technically, that's still embezzling the charity money, Zig.
Ziggy's next act of kindness is to give his Santa suit to a homeless man who is freezing on the sidewalk. I might have something in my eye.
The cop has filled his paddywagon with "every single crooked Santa in town," including the suited guy who gave Ziggy the job. The chief of police reminds him to get "the little guy." Commotion with the yellow-eyed creep leads the cop right to Ziggy. But when they notice some children watching from a window, they cover by singing "Silent Night." Angle shift reveals that they are standing in front of a foster home (a group home, I guess), and the house mother invites them in. So, Ziggy, the cop, the yellow-eyed creep, Fuzz, and the cat all join the foster kids for some cocoa. Ziggy brings in the tree that he rescued earlier. They decorate it with yarn, and the cop puts his star badge on top. It mysteriously lights up. The mysterious gold light has showed up a few times, maybe suggesting angelic presence. I'm not sure.
Since the yellow-eyed creep is in the Santa suit, the kids assume he's Santa. Cornered by their innocence, he begins giving the kids the things he's been pilfering. The gold light flashes just as he pulls out some toys, suggesting that maybe he didn't know they were in there. At Ziggy's prompting, he also returns the cop's wallet. The cop apologizes for all that "confusion" earlier. So I guess even yellow-eyed creep has been redeemed. Guess that was the point.
We fade out with a Harry Nilsson song about giving, as Ziggy waves good-bye and leaves the foster home with Fuzz and his now-empty sled. Looks like they left the cat with the foster kids.
That? Was pretty awesome.
Visuals: 5 out of 5
Spirit: 5 out of 5
Nostalgia: 3 out of 5
Humor: 2 out of 5
Music: 3 out of 5
Overall: 4 out of 5
I'm immediately struck by the animation. Yeah, it's simple line-drawn 2D animation, but it has a very serene stillness and the motions are very fluid-- it's perfect for a Christmas special.
Ziggy, that long-enduring bald everyman that everyone knows from the comics but no one seems to have particularly strong feelings about, does not talk at all during the special. He is wearing a short robe and slippers as he brushes his teeth, collects his newspaper, and watches the news on TV, where he learns that a bunch of charity collectors have been pocketing the money. At the same time, Ziggy sees an ad in the newspaper asking for honest charity collectors. Spurred to action, Ziggy runs to his dresser and gets dressed, breaking his mirror in the process. Oh, Ziggy, will you ever win?
Ziggy's dog Fuzz ties Ziggy's scarf around Ziggy's neck (without using his paws like hands, just by taking the scarf in his teeth and running around Ziggy). Ziggy smiles and ties the other end of the scarf around Fuzz's neck so that it doubles as a leash. Cute.
They walk down the street, pulling a sled for some reason, and something random happens leading them to have to rescue a tree from the middle of the road. Then a police officer lectures Ziggy for leaving his sled in the middle of the sidewalk. Whatever. The cop hits himself in the head with his own billy club as he's waving it about, and then doesn't notice as a creepy hand reaches out of a nearby trash can and swipes his wallet. Yikes! After Ziggy and Fuzz walk away, we see the yellow-eyed stringy-haired owner of that hand, and it's not a pretty sight. Oscar the Grouch would be ashamed that the reputation of trash can dwellers has been sullied.
The guy at the "Santas Wanted" place is overly enthusiastic about an applicant showing up. As the door closes, the "Santas Wanted" sign falls off the door to reveal its label: "Fly by Nite Loan Co." The cop sees this and says "hmm." Something is not on the up and up here. Ziggy misses several indicators of this: 1) the guy doesn't even read his application 2) there are no other applicants and 3) the sofa in the guy's office is in very poor condition. On TV, particularly cartoons, beat up sofas are always a sign of trouble. Even Fuzz is growling at the guy. Come on, Ziggy, open your eyes.
Ziggy gives some money to street musicians, and the yellow-eyed creep watches from inside a fire hydrant. Then-- oh, I remember this part!-- Ziggy walks by a display window with angel mannequins whose necks go up and down. They sing "Joy to the World", but skip like a bad recording. A spring pops out of one of them. The next display window advertises plastic poinsettias, aluminum trees, vinyl holly wreaths, and polyester pine cones, all surrounding a ginormous wind-up Santa that sputters and dies right in front of Ziggy. Nightmare fuel! Of course, this is the part my pre-school-aged brain retained. The music changes as Ziggy stops beside a mailbox. I bet we're about to see the yellow-eyed-creep again! Yup, there he is, just as Ziggy pulls out his bell. He steals a wrapped gift, seemingly out of nowhere, then a passerby puts another wrapped gift into the mailbox (with no address?), which causes a scuffle that knocks the mailbox over. While Ziggy is distracted by that, a drunk-looking Santa steals his spot. Ziggy shrugs and walks away, and the yellow-eyed creep steals the drunk Santa's outfit right off of his back. WTF?
Yellow-eyed creep now has everything he needs to set up his own bell-ringing station right beside Ziggy. Ziggy is a kind and gentle soul, so he's just like "whatever" and keeps ringing his bell. Fuzz, on the other hand, digs his teeth into yellow-eyed creep's leg and does not let go until yellow-eyed creep vacates the corner. Wow. Fuzz presents a scrap of yellow-eyed creep's pants to Ziggy as a trophy. Ziggy puts in his pocket, for some reason.
Presumably sometime later, they are walking down the street again, still pulling the sled with the tree on it. They pass a stray cat, and Ziggy ties the scrap of pants around its head like a kerchief and pats it on the head. Aww. The cat, of course, hops atop the sled. Ziggy then goes by the meat market for some reason, where a bunch of "live Xmas turkeys" are on display and looking very distressed. I don't remember this part, but it might have contributed to my vegetarianism. Somehow, without speaking, Ziggy indicates that he would like to buy ALL the turkeys.
I thought we had lost yellow-eyed creep, but he's still trailing Ziggy. he makes a grab for the kettle of money, but it appears empty. However, when Ziggy reaches into it for $175 to pay for all the turkeys, the money is there. Ziggy sets the turkeys free and shakes the butcher's hand. I've always been indifferent to Ziggy as a comic strip, but this special is kind of making me love him.
The cop from earlier shows up to question the butcher about the turkeys on the loose, and is interested to hear about the short Santa who paid with cash out of an iron kettle. Yeah, that doesn't look good. Technically, that's still embezzling the charity money, Zig.
Ziggy's next act of kindness is to give his Santa suit to a homeless man who is freezing on the sidewalk. I might have something in my eye.
The cop has filled his paddywagon with "every single crooked Santa in town," including the suited guy who gave Ziggy the job. The chief of police reminds him to get "the little guy." Commotion with the yellow-eyed creep leads the cop right to Ziggy. But when they notice some children watching from a window, they cover by singing "Silent Night." Angle shift reveals that they are standing in front of a foster home (a group home, I guess), and the house mother invites them in. So, Ziggy, the cop, the yellow-eyed creep, Fuzz, and the cat all join the foster kids for some cocoa. Ziggy brings in the tree that he rescued earlier. They decorate it with yarn, and the cop puts his star badge on top. It mysteriously lights up. The mysterious gold light has showed up a few times, maybe suggesting angelic presence. I'm not sure.
Since the yellow-eyed creep is in the Santa suit, the kids assume he's Santa. Cornered by their innocence, he begins giving the kids the things he's been pilfering. The gold light flashes just as he pulls out some toys, suggesting that maybe he didn't know they were in there. At Ziggy's prompting, he also returns the cop's wallet. The cop apologizes for all that "confusion" earlier. So I guess even yellow-eyed creep has been redeemed. Guess that was the point.
We fade out with a Harry Nilsson song about giving, as Ziggy waves good-bye and leaves the foster home with Fuzz and his now-empty sled. Looks like they left the cat with the foster kids.
That? Was pretty awesome.
Visuals: 5 out of 5
Spirit: 5 out of 5
Nostalgia: 3 out of 5
Humor: 2 out of 5
Music: 3 out of 5
Overall: 4 out of 5
Friday, December 16, 2011
Twelve Blogs of Christmas #4: Boy Meets World "A Very Topanga Christmas"
I'll get to something longer and with more substance tomorrow, but right now I'm in the mood for a simple sitcom episode. Boy Meets World it is-- a sitcom best described as sweet but mildly surreal.
Topanga's spending Christmas with Cory's family for the first time. Cory has a promise ring to give to her, because they're going to be together forever. And the way this show always presented their eternal love as a fact is the only thing that most bothers me about this show. It could have been a chaotic, confusing, Kevin-and-Winnie kind of deal-- more people would have related to that. But instead it was a predestined "we've been in love since we were two!" kind of a thing, which leads to a whole separate problem with continuity, since in season one Cory could barely stand the sight of Topanga. And at that point she was an outspoken hippie whose dad was played by Peter Tork, but sadly all of that went away. I think she had four or five dads over the years. And she had a sister at one point, named Nebula Stopthewar Lawrence, but then she vanished off the face of the Earth.
ANYWAY. The theme of this episode is that when families mesh, traditions don't always.
Matthews family traditions:
eggnog
aluminum tree
opening gifts on Christmas morning
cardboard noodle star on top of the tree
Topanga traditions:
hot mulled cider
real tree carefully selected from a tree farm
opening gifts on Christmas Eve
angel on top of the tree
I prefer cider to eggnog, but I don't think I've ever had cider on Christmas. I am indifferent about what kind of tree-- my family uses a fake tree, but a green one. Gifts can be opened whenever, why not compromise and spread them out? But one thing I am weird about-- I much prefer having a star on top of the tree. Couldn't tell you why, really, it just makes more sense to me, visually and symbolically.
HOWEVER, if I were spending Christmas with someone else's family (something I have never done, and I'll be thirty in May), I would anticipate that their traditions and preferences would differ from my own. I would either grin and bear it, or find a way to blend the traditions, such as spreading present opening out, or having cider AND eggnog. Topanga, on the other hand, expects the Matthews family to adapt HER traditions, and love them. Maybe this is why it's hazardous to get into serious relationships so young.
Another Matthews family tradition is that Mr. Feeny comes over and reads A Christmas Carol to the family. To the show's credit, they acknowledge that this particular tradition is a bit odd. It's a short novel, but I think it would still take a while to read out loud in one sitting. Topanga's suggestion to alter this tradition is that they act out the parts, and Mr. Feeny is freaked out, for some reason. I guess he likes to hear himself read.
In the middle of the night, Topanga is freaking out about their traditions not meshing. But by morning, she is happy and making pancakes shaped like Christmas trees. Now it's Cory's turn to be the snot and reject her pancakes because they don't fit with his vision of the day, or something, and he likes his family's traditions the way they are. Oh, and she squeezed grapefruit juice into his orange juice, and what kind of person does that, oh no, the world is ending...He snots all the way to his best friend Shawn's apartment, where Shawn is spending his first Christmas with his half brother. Shawn compares Cory and Topanga to the grapefruit juice and orange juice: "You shouldn't be together. And yet somehow you are." That... doesn't sound very encouraging.
Topanga stops by to apologize, even though Cory was the one who ran off in a snit. Cory proceeds to fall asleep watching A Christmas Carol on TV, and then have a rather contrived dream that Feeny shows up and shows Cory his future in which Cory is... fat. Because all he eats, for every meal, is pancakes shaped like Christmas trees. Then Cory goes to see Topanga in the future, and she's married to Shawn's half brother. They have three children and *gasp* an aluminum tree! Because love brings compromise, and when people are in love, they create their own traditions. Um... duh. Again, this is why they're too immature for the intensity of this relationship.
Needless to say, Cory goes running back to Topanga and gives her the promise ring. She doesn't point out to him that he was the one who ran away in a snit. She just gives him a promise ring of his own.
For the tag scene, everyone gathers around to listen to Mr. Feeny read A Christmas Carol after all, because that is SERIOUS BUSINESS.
Visuals: 1 out of 5
Spirit: 3 out of 5
Nostalgia: 3 out of 5
Humor: 2 out of 5
Music: 0 out of 5
Overall: 2.5 out of 5
Topanga's spending Christmas with Cory's family for the first time. Cory has a promise ring to give to her, because they're going to be together forever. And the way this show always presented their eternal love as a fact is the only thing that most bothers me about this show. It could have been a chaotic, confusing, Kevin-and-Winnie kind of deal-- more people would have related to that. But instead it was a predestined "we've been in love since we were two!" kind of a thing, which leads to a whole separate problem with continuity, since in season one Cory could barely stand the sight of Topanga. And at that point she was an outspoken hippie whose dad was played by Peter Tork, but sadly all of that went away. I think she had four or five dads over the years. And she had a sister at one point, named Nebula Stopthewar Lawrence, but then she vanished off the face of the Earth.
ANYWAY. The theme of this episode is that when families mesh, traditions don't always.
Matthews family traditions:
eggnog
aluminum tree
opening gifts on Christmas morning
cardboard noodle star on top of the tree
Topanga traditions:
hot mulled cider
real tree carefully selected from a tree farm
opening gifts on Christmas Eve
angel on top of the tree
I prefer cider to eggnog, but I don't think I've ever had cider on Christmas. I am indifferent about what kind of tree-- my family uses a fake tree, but a green one. Gifts can be opened whenever, why not compromise and spread them out? But one thing I am weird about-- I much prefer having a star on top of the tree. Couldn't tell you why, really, it just makes more sense to me, visually and symbolically.
HOWEVER, if I were spending Christmas with someone else's family (something I have never done, and I'll be thirty in May), I would anticipate that their traditions and preferences would differ from my own. I would either grin and bear it, or find a way to blend the traditions, such as spreading present opening out, or having cider AND eggnog. Topanga, on the other hand, expects the Matthews family to adapt HER traditions, and love them. Maybe this is why it's hazardous to get into serious relationships so young.
Another Matthews family tradition is that Mr. Feeny comes over and reads A Christmas Carol to the family. To the show's credit, they acknowledge that this particular tradition is a bit odd. It's a short novel, but I think it would still take a while to read out loud in one sitting. Topanga's suggestion to alter this tradition is that they act out the parts, and Mr. Feeny is freaked out, for some reason. I guess he likes to hear himself read.
In the middle of the night, Topanga is freaking out about their traditions not meshing. But by morning, she is happy and making pancakes shaped like Christmas trees. Now it's Cory's turn to be the snot and reject her pancakes because they don't fit with his vision of the day, or something, and he likes his family's traditions the way they are. Oh, and she squeezed grapefruit juice into his orange juice, and what kind of person does that, oh no, the world is ending...He snots all the way to his best friend Shawn's apartment, where Shawn is spending his first Christmas with his half brother. Shawn compares Cory and Topanga to the grapefruit juice and orange juice: "You shouldn't be together. And yet somehow you are." That... doesn't sound very encouraging.
Topanga stops by to apologize, even though Cory was the one who ran off in a snit. Cory proceeds to fall asleep watching A Christmas Carol on TV, and then have a rather contrived dream that Feeny shows up and shows Cory his future in which Cory is... fat. Because all he eats, for every meal, is pancakes shaped like Christmas trees. Then Cory goes to see Topanga in the future, and she's married to Shawn's half brother. They have three children and *gasp* an aluminum tree! Because love brings compromise, and when people are in love, they create their own traditions. Um... duh. Again, this is why they're too immature for the intensity of this relationship.
Needless to say, Cory goes running back to Topanga and gives her the promise ring. She doesn't point out to him that he was the one who ran away in a snit. She just gives him a promise ring of his own.
For the tag scene, everyone gathers around to listen to Mr. Feeny read A Christmas Carol after all, because that is SERIOUS BUSINESS.
Visuals: 1 out of 5
Spirit: 3 out of 5
Nostalgia: 3 out of 5
Humor: 2 out of 5
Music: 0 out of 5
Overall: 2.5 out of 5
Twelve Blogs of Christmas #3: Prep and Landing
My husband really, really likes this special that premiered last year. I gave him the dvd for his birthday, and that's what he wants to watch, so that's what I am blogging about today.
Here we meet the elite team of elves known as prep and landing. They arrive at the house before Santa to prep the rooftop for the sleigh's safe landing, as well as clear the house of any obstacles, such as unfriendly dogs. They also screen the cookies and milk, which I find quite amusing for some reason.
Our protagonist is Wayne, callsign: Little Drummer Boy. He informs us that he's ready to move on from this position. But, we soon find out from an executive elf who is voiced by Sarah Chalke but looks like Alyson Hannigan that his promotion did not go through. She also mentions that she's Santa's secret Santa this year, which has to be awkward. I wonder who Santa is secret Santa for, because that wouldn't be so secret.
Jaded by the bad news, Wayne slacks off at a house. he raids their fridge and watches Mickey's Christmas Carol on their tv. Then, he gets caught by a child who is stirring.
The Sarah/Alyson elf is overseeing Santa's launch and hoping that nothing goes wrong. But of course, it already has.
The callsign for the reindeer is "eight maids a-milking" which they hate, so they kind of blow it off. So the Sarah/Alyson elf calls "big red" himself and 86's service to the house where the kid is stirring. Or, as they put it, "figgy pudding." When Wayne finds out about this, it simply will not do, so he begs Santa to turn back and not let little Timmy down. Santa is pleased to hear this. Needless to say, they come through for Timmy.
Later, Wayne goes to Santa to apologize. Santa is, of course, not upset with Wayne, but pleased with his spirit. He presents Wayne with a gift of a snow globe that looks into Timmy's house. And he offers Wayne a different promotion, which Wayne turns down, realizing that Prep and Landing is where he belongs. And if you didn't see that coming, well then, you've never seen a Christmas special before. But that's okay, it's still a sweet, happy story that explores an area of Christmas operation which no other story has before. Only real flaw with it is that it's too short.
There's a short on the dvd wherein Betty White voices Mrs. Claus. Mrs. Claus's face is not shown, so now I'm convinced Betty White actually IS Mrs. Claus.
Visuals: 4 out of 5
Spirit: 4 out of 5
Nostalgia: 0 out of 5
Humor: 3 out of 5
Music: 0 out of 5
Overall: 3 out of 5
Here we meet the elite team of elves known as prep and landing. They arrive at the house before Santa to prep the rooftop for the sleigh's safe landing, as well as clear the house of any obstacles, such as unfriendly dogs. They also screen the cookies and milk, which I find quite amusing for some reason.
Our protagonist is Wayne, callsign: Little Drummer Boy. He informs us that he's ready to move on from this position. But, we soon find out from an executive elf who is voiced by Sarah Chalke but looks like Alyson Hannigan that his promotion did not go through. She also mentions that she's Santa's secret Santa this year, which has to be awkward. I wonder who Santa is secret Santa for, because that wouldn't be so secret.
Jaded by the bad news, Wayne slacks off at a house. he raids their fridge and watches Mickey's Christmas Carol on their tv. Then, he gets caught by a child who is stirring.
The Sarah/Alyson elf is overseeing Santa's launch and hoping that nothing goes wrong. But of course, it already has.
The callsign for the reindeer is "eight maids a-milking" which they hate, so they kind of blow it off. So the Sarah/Alyson elf calls "big red" himself and 86's service to the house where the kid is stirring. Or, as they put it, "figgy pudding." When Wayne finds out about this, it simply will not do, so he begs Santa to turn back and not let little Timmy down. Santa is pleased to hear this. Needless to say, they come through for Timmy.
Later, Wayne goes to Santa to apologize. Santa is, of course, not upset with Wayne, but pleased with his spirit. He presents Wayne with a gift of a snow globe that looks into Timmy's house. And he offers Wayne a different promotion, which Wayne turns down, realizing that Prep and Landing is where he belongs. And if you didn't see that coming, well then, you've never seen a Christmas special before. But that's okay, it's still a sweet, happy story that explores an area of Christmas operation which no other story has before. Only real flaw with it is that it's too short.
There's a short on the dvd wherein Betty White voices Mrs. Claus. Mrs. Claus's face is not shown, so now I'm convinced Betty White actually IS Mrs. Claus.
Visuals: 4 out of 5
Spirit: 4 out of 5
Nostalgia: 0 out of 5
Humor: 3 out of 5
Music: 0 out of 5
Overall: 3 out of 5
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Twelve Blogs of Christmas #2: Kung Fu Panda Holiday Special
Right after the previous post, I got hit with a 24-hour bug that was passed from my niece to my husband to me. And while I've passed hour 24, I still don't feel like getting off the couch. But I finally feel up to where I can blog again, as long as it's something only 30 minutes long.
Pretty much everything involving Kung Fu Panda has been a pleasant surprise. This special is much better than the other DreamWorks Christmas specials, although it wouldn't make a bit of sense to anyone who hadn't seen the movie.
We begin with Po having a dream involving noodles, his father, and the villain from the movie. Typical anxiety, world-colliding dream stuff.
Po and his dad (who is still a bird, btw) are getting ready for "Winter Feast," for which they host a big meal/party at the noodle shop every year. Then Shifu turns up to inform Po that as Dragon Warrior, it is his job and honor to host the Winter Feast at the Jade Palace, attended by all the greatest Kung Fu masters. The Furious Five are stunned to hear this, as the Winter Feast at the Palace is a formal affair. Po maintains he can pull off sophisticated, but is disappointed to learn he can't bring his dad. I agree with him, if he's the host, why can't he invite one measly guest of his own?
When all the chefs come to audition for the privilege to cater the feast (and receive the honor of some sort of bejewelled ladle thing), Po decides to hate all of their food and then choose his dad. Po's dad, however, isn't down with this plan. He wants to host his own Winter Feast as planned because the rest of the village depends on him. Which is kind of sweet, actually.
Back at the palace, Po has no chef. Because preparations for a formal, sophisticated event must all happen at the last minute. One of the rejected chefs, a rabbit, shows up to fight for his honor. Except, due to their difference in size and experience, the rabbit expects Po to kill him. Po refuses to fight, and sets about frantically preparing. We get a few shots of his dad doing the same. Finally, he convinces the bunny to help, but the bunny keeps trying to kill himself in the process. If it weren't so funny it would be disturbing.
Of course Po pulls it off, but he's homesick. He doesn't appear to get very far into the feast before he's confessing to the crowd how much he misses the feast and the chaos of home and his uncle laughing until noodles come out his nose. Surprisingly, the Furious Five are genuinely moved and start talking about their own family memories. Only Shifu is left going, "But-- tradition! Elegance!"
Po arrives back home and prepares all the noodles with mad skill, to the screaming delight of the villagers. And who else should show up but the Furious Five! I knew that was going to happen, but I was still very happy that it did. Even the masters come trailing in, and then the rabbit, to whom Po presents the ladle, and the rabbit stops trying to die.
Shifu walks up to the door, griping about everything being ruined, only to see the masters and Furious Five happily engaging with villagers, telling stories and playing with kids. His heart warms right over, although it still takes some convincing from Po to come in and join the party. Shifu is a man that uses his head a lot, and he's just now coming to understand things that come from the heart, you see. Fade out on a pig drawing a happy picture of the group. The end!
Visuals: 4 out of 5
Spirit: 4.5 out of 5
Nostalgia: 0 out of 5
Humor: 4 out of 5
Music: 0 out of 5
Overall: 4 out of 5
Pretty much everything involving Kung Fu Panda has been a pleasant surprise. This special is much better than the other DreamWorks Christmas specials, although it wouldn't make a bit of sense to anyone who hadn't seen the movie.
We begin with Po having a dream involving noodles, his father, and the villain from the movie. Typical anxiety, world-colliding dream stuff.
Po and his dad (who is still a bird, btw) are getting ready for "Winter Feast," for which they host a big meal/party at the noodle shop every year. Then Shifu turns up to inform Po that as Dragon Warrior, it is his job and honor to host the Winter Feast at the Jade Palace, attended by all the greatest Kung Fu masters. The Furious Five are stunned to hear this, as the Winter Feast at the Palace is a formal affair. Po maintains he can pull off sophisticated, but is disappointed to learn he can't bring his dad. I agree with him, if he's the host, why can't he invite one measly guest of his own?
When all the chefs come to audition for the privilege to cater the feast (and receive the honor of some sort of bejewelled ladle thing), Po decides to hate all of their food and then choose his dad. Po's dad, however, isn't down with this plan. He wants to host his own Winter Feast as planned because the rest of the village depends on him. Which is kind of sweet, actually.
Back at the palace, Po has no chef. Because preparations for a formal, sophisticated event must all happen at the last minute. One of the rejected chefs, a rabbit, shows up to fight for his honor. Except, due to their difference in size and experience, the rabbit expects Po to kill him. Po refuses to fight, and sets about frantically preparing. We get a few shots of his dad doing the same. Finally, he convinces the bunny to help, but the bunny keeps trying to kill himself in the process. If it weren't so funny it would be disturbing.
Of course Po pulls it off, but he's homesick. He doesn't appear to get very far into the feast before he's confessing to the crowd how much he misses the feast and the chaos of home and his uncle laughing until noodles come out his nose. Surprisingly, the Furious Five are genuinely moved and start talking about their own family memories. Only Shifu is left going, "But-- tradition! Elegance!"
Po arrives back home and prepares all the noodles with mad skill, to the screaming delight of the villagers. And who else should show up but the Furious Five! I knew that was going to happen, but I was still very happy that it did. Even the masters come trailing in, and then the rabbit, to whom Po presents the ladle, and the rabbit stops trying to die.
Shifu walks up to the door, griping about everything being ruined, only to see the masters and Furious Five happily engaging with villagers, telling stories and playing with kids. His heart warms right over, although it still takes some convincing from Po to come in and join the party. Shifu is a man that uses his head a lot, and he's just now coming to understand things that come from the heart, you see. Fade out on a pig drawing a happy picture of the group. The end!
Visuals: 4 out of 5
Spirit: 4.5 out of 5
Nostalgia: 0 out of 5
Humor: 4 out of 5
Music: 0 out of 5
Overall: 4 out of 5
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Twelve Blogs of Christmas #1: A Flintstone Christmas
I suppose the most fun I've ever had with this blog was last year when I live-blogged Christmas specials (or Christmas movies, or Christmas episodes of TV shows). So, even though I'm getting a later start this year and won't do as many (you can blame the flooding of my apartment and my resulting temporary location for both of those), I'm going to try to do at least twelve more.
Today-- one that I only vaguely remember. Everyone's favorite prehistoric family. Not that we have many well-established-in-pop-culture prehistoric families to choose from. I'll try not to overthink the fact that they are celebrating Christmas in the BC era.
First we see Wilma, Betty, and the babies bringing home the tree. Then we see Barney and Fred shopping, and Barney giving money to a bell-ringer, which Fred chides him for. Barney says I just can't say no to Santa. And THAT'S how the Salvation Army stays in business, despite their discriminatory practices. Fred points out that those guys aren't really Santa, which leads Barney to sing about how there are so many Santas, any one of them MIGHT be the real one.
Oh, wait-- Pebbles and Bamm Bamm aren't babies anymore-- they're children. Weird. Does anyone else remember when they were teenagers? Or did I dream that?
Fred goes to work Christmas Eve day and gets called to see the boss. The intercom, as you may remember, is a bird that flies into the other room and delivers the message. Fred is afraid he's about to be fired, but it turns out the boss wants him to play Santa at a Christmas party his wife's women's club is hosting for underprivileged kids. Fred is unusually excited about this, or maybe he's just excited that a) he isn't fired and b) he is off work and can go enjoy his Christmas. He sings a song, which, like Barney's before it, isn't particularly impressive.
Fred is proud to announce his Santa gig to Wilma, and she is proud of him, but just as Fred and Barney are heading out, they hear a noise on the roof. Turns out Santa has just fallen off the roof! Fred doesn't think it's really Santa, but Barney is of course ready to believe. I would believe he is Santa simply because he is animated very differently than all the characters. Santa is okay except for a sprained ankle, and describes Fred's roof as "like an obstacle course." They bring the poor guy inside, but when he uses Fred's phone to call the north pole, Fred sends Barney next door to call "the asylum." But Barney spots the sleigh and reindeer on the roof, and calls Fred out to look. Fred is appropriately convinced. I'm glad that didn't drag out for too long.
Fred and Barney convince Santa that he's in no condition to fly around the rest of the world, and offer to make his rounds for him. This kind of seems like an early prototype of The Santa Clause, except with less permanence.
Fred and Barney take to the job very well, except for the whole down-the-chimney thing. So, it appears that they just start throwing the toys off the sleigh, and I guess the toys magically know where to go? I won't overthink it. Of course, Fred is missing his Santa gig at the women's club. He's going to have a hard time explaining that.
The guys hit some turbulence, and lose several bag of presents. They contact Santa via cb radio (wow...) and are told to stop at the North Pole to re-stock. Surprisingly, neither Santa nor Mrs. Claus gets very upset. Maybe this happens a lot. Fred and Barney have some fun in the workshop. We're now on unimpressive song #4. I'm starting to understand why I had only vague memories of this special.
As they fly away from the North Pole, Barney comments on what a nice lady Mrs. Claus is, to which Fred replies, No wonder Santa's so jolly. ...oookkk. Cut to the Christmas party, where the kids are growing increasingly impatient, prompting Wilma to sing a song about hope.
And after the commercial break, Fred does indeed make it to the party, with Barney in tow dressed as an elf. But-- uh-oh, they gave away all the presents so there are none for the underprivileged kids. I'm trying not to overthink the fact that if Santa were real, all kids (at least those who were "good") would get presents from Santa, regardless of socioeconomic status. But, Santa's magic works for his stand-in, and so they conjure up new presents.
Back at home, Santa gets his suit back. But then they overhear Wilma and Betty coming up the walk, griping about the fact that Fred and Barney didn't stay to help clean up. Which the guys of course attribute to their wives losing the Christmas spirit. Especially the part that says goodwill toward men and your husbands most of all. Wow, guys, way to not accept responsibility. It's not like they knew Santa was laid up in your living room. Santa takes off because he doesn't want to deal with angry wives. Fred and Barney tell the wives the truth. Predictably, the wives don't believe them, but they are charmed out of their anger. Barney, Fred, Pebbles, and Bamm-Bamm all wave bye to Santa from the window, while Wilma and Betty laugh at the childlike imaginations. The End!
Like I said, not terribly memorable. My number one memory of the Flintstones and Christmas is this commercial:
Visuals: 1 out of 5
Spirit: 3 out of 5
Nostalgia: 2 out of 5
Humor: 2 out of 5
Music: 1 out of 5
Overall: 2 out of 5
Today-- one that I only vaguely remember. Everyone's favorite prehistoric family. Not that we have many well-established-in-pop-culture prehistoric families to choose from. I'll try not to overthink the fact that they are celebrating Christmas in the BC era.
First we see Wilma, Betty, and the babies bringing home the tree. Then we see Barney and Fred shopping, and Barney giving money to a bell-ringer, which Fred chides him for. Barney says I just can't say no to Santa. And THAT'S how the Salvation Army stays in business, despite their discriminatory practices. Fred points out that those guys aren't really Santa, which leads Barney to sing about how there are so many Santas, any one of them MIGHT be the real one.
Oh, wait-- Pebbles and Bamm Bamm aren't babies anymore-- they're children. Weird. Does anyone else remember when they were teenagers? Or did I dream that?
Fred goes to work Christmas Eve day and gets called to see the boss. The intercom, as you may remember, is a bird that flies into the other room and delivers the message. Fred is afraid he's about to be fired, but it turns out the boss wants him to play Santa at a Christmas party his wife's women's club is hosting for underprivileged kids. Fred is unusually excited about this, or maybe he's just excited that a) he isn't fired and b) he is off work and can go enjoy his Christmas. He sings a song, which, like Barney's before it, isn't particularly impressive.
Fred is proud to announce his Santa gig to Wilma, and she is proud of him, but just as Fred and Barney are heading out, they hear a noise on the roof. Turns out Santa has just fallen off the roof! Fred doesn't think it's really Santa, but Barney is of course ready to believe. I would believe he is Santa simply because he is animated very differently than all the characters. Santa is okay except for a sprained ankle, and describes Fred's roof as "like an obstacle course." They bring the poor guy inside, but when he uses Fred's phone to call the north pole, Fred sends Barney next door to call "the asylum." But Barney spots the sleigh and reindeer on the roof, and calls Fred out to look. Fred is appropriately convinced. I'm glad that didn't drag out for too long.
Fred and Barney convince Santa that he's in no condition to fly around the rest of the world, and offer to make his rounds for him. This kind of seems like an early prototype of The Santa Clause, except with less permanence.
Fred and Barney take to the job very well, except for the whole down-the-chimney thing. So, it appears that they just start throwing the toys off the sleigh, and I guess the toys magically know where to go? I won't overthink it. Of course, Fred is missing his Santa gig at the women's club. He's going to have a hard time explaining that.
The guys hit some turbulence, and lose several bag of presents. They contact Santa via cb radio (wow...) and are told to stop at the North Pole to re-stock. Surprisingly, neither Santa nor Mrs. Claus gets very upset. Maybe this happens a lot. Fred and Barney have some fun in the workshop. We're now on unimpressive song #4. I'm starting to understand why I had only vague memories of this special.
As they fly away from the North Pole, Barney comments on what a nice lady Mrs. Claus is, to which Fred replies, No wonder Santa's so jolly. ...oookkk. Cut to the Christmas party, where the kids are growing increasingly impatient, prompting Wilma to sing a song about hope.
And after the commercial break, Fred does indeed make it to the party, with Barney in tow dressed as an elf. But-- uh-oh, they gave away all the presents so there are none for the underprivileged kids. I'm trying not to overthink the fact that if Santa were real, all kids (at least those who were "good") would get presents from Santa, regardless of socioeconomic status. But, Santa's magic works for his stand-in, and so they conjure up new presents.
Back at home, Santa gets his suit back. But then they overhear Wilma and Betty coming up the walk, griping about the fact that Fred and Barney didn't stay to help clean up. Which the guys of course attribute to their wives losing the Christmas spirit. Especially the part that says goodwill toward men and your husbands most of all. Wow, guys, way to not accept responsibility. It's not like they knew Santa was laid up in your living room. Santa takes off because he doesn't want to deal with angry wives. Fred and Barney tell the wives the truth. Predictably, the wives don't believe them, but they are charmed out of their anger. Barney, Fred, Pebbles, and Bamm-Bamm all wave bye to Santa from the window, while Wilma and Betty laugh at the childlike imaginations. The End!
Like I said, not terribly memorable. My number one memory of the Flintstones and Christmas is this commercial:
Visuals: 1 out of 5
Spirit: 3 out of 5
Nostalgia: 2 out of 5
Humor: 2 out of 5
Music: 1 out of 5
Overall: 2 out of 5
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