In my worldview, this is the most classic, most timeless of all the classic and timeless Rankin-Bass specials. After I blog this one, maybe I can move on to the Muppets specials!
Our narrator for this special is a talking snowman, voiced by Burl Ives, who I confess I don't know from anything else. Santa is too skinny, so Mrs. Claus is trying to force him to eat because the children are expecting a fat Santa. Doesn't really make a lot of sense if you think about it... if Santa really does exist, but is really skinny, why do people expect him to be fat? And nobody sees him anyway, so what does it matter if he doesn't look like people expect?
Anyway, on to the story proper. Rudolph has been born to Donner and wife, and his nose is all red and glowy. Santa comes to meet him, and is disturbed by Rudolph's nose. Then, apropos of nothing, he sings a song about jingling bells. But it's a catchy song, so we'll forgive its randomness. Donner decides to cover up Rudolph's nose, because he won't make the sleigh team with a red nose. Because the color of his nose will affect his athletic abilities, or something? Is there any way to read this OTHER than as a metaphor for racism? Because I can't think of one.
Next we meet Hermey the elf, being shamed for not liking to make toys. Which might be a metaphor for homophobia. Or I might be overthinking things.
The elves sing a song for Santa, called... wait for it... "We Are Santa's Elves." Santa doesn't seem too impressed. He wants to get on the task of checking out the new deer. The other elves blame Hermey for the song not being so good, because he skipped practice to work on some dolls' teeth. Cue Crowning Moment of Funny:
Head Elf: Why weren't you at elf practice?
Hermey: Just fixing these dolls' teeth.
Head Elf: Just fixing...? Now listen, we have dolls that cry, talk, walk, blink and run a temperature. We don't need any chewing dolls!
Hermey: But I just thought I'd find a way to - to fit in.
Head Elf: You'll never fit in! Now you come to elf practice, learn how to wiggle your ears, chuckle warmly, go hee-hee and ho-ho, and important stuff like that. A dentist! Good grief!
I've always found the reindeer games scene difficult to watch. This special kind of makes the North Pole seem like a horrible place to grow up. Anyway. Rudolph is publicly humiliated and laughed at by all of the other reindeer (but you knew that) except for the cute girl reindeer, Clarice, who likes him and sings him a song.
Hermey and Rudolph finally meet, and sing my favorite song, "We're a Couple of Misfits." You could say I relate to feeling like a misfit. I've also been known to sing this song to my cat (who was the pick of the litter because she was a misfit-- the smallest of five kittens, and the only one who wasn't solid black).
Next we meet Yukon Cornelius and hear a song about silver and gold. And get chased by an abominable snowmonster. Then set adrift on an ice boat.
Donner feels bad about being cruel to his son, so he sets out looking for him, but continues to act like a jerk when he tells his wife that she can't come because "This is man's work." Of course, his wife doesn't listen. She and Clarice go looking on their own.
Rudolph and Co. are lost in the fog.
Yukon Cornelius: This fog's as thick as peanut butter!
Hermey: You mean pea soup.
Yukon Cornelius: You eat what you like, and I'll eat what I like!
Snerk.
Soon, we come upon the Island of Misfit Toys, which is really the best part of the whole special. The misfit toys are actually pretty awesome. It always bothered me that we were never told why the little doll was a misfit. Apparently Jules Bass once answered this question with, "I dunno — maybe she was an alcoholic?"
For some inexplicable reason, Rudolph sneaks away in the middle of the night, leaving his friends alone. And then he grows up, in a quick little montage, as cartoon characters tend to do. And when he grows up, he realizes that he can't just run away from his problems, so he heads home, only to discover that his parents have been gone for some time looking for him. Somehow, Rudolph instinctively knows to go looking in the cave of the abominable snowmonster. Ultimately, it turns out the snowmonster just needed some dental work done.
When they all return to North Pole headquarters, everyone realizes they were wrong about the misfits, and the snowmonster puts the star on top of the tree. Musical number: "Holly Jolly Christmas," which a pre-schooler I once taught had memorized and thought was called "Rudolph." But the storm is still raging, so Christmas is cancelled... UNTIL, Santa realizes he can use Rudolph's nose to light the way! Wheeee!!! Santa's first stop is the Island of Misfit Toys. I always loved that Santa was going to find homes for all the toys. Apparently, the subsequent scene of Santa rescuing them all and loading them onto the sleigh was a later addition, due to complaints from fans that it seemed like Santa wasn't following through on his promise to help them.
Over the credits we see elves releasing the toys into the air with little blue umbrellas, which is weird... how do they know where to go? What's even weirder is that they release the toy bird without an umbrella, when the reason he was a misfit was that he couldn't fly, he swam. But now it appears that he flies. Maybe they fixed him somehow.
Visuals: 5 out of 5
Spirit: 4 out of 5
Nostalgia: 5 out of 5
Humor: 4 out of 5
Music: 5 out of 5
Overall: 5 out of 5
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