Christmas Vacation Installment #22: My So-Called Life "So-Called Angels"

In case anyone didn't know, My So-Called Life was the best show that ever was (yes, even better than Buffy, because Buffy took a lot from it, by Joss Whedon's admission) and was sadly ripped away before its time. But, it knew the force, that one, because once struck down, it became more powerful than anyone could imagine.

And when My So-Called Life did a Christmas episode, it wasn't a fancy, sparkly lighthearted affair-- it was a realistic, socially relevant, heartbreaking hour of TV.

We begin by hearing the prayers of what sound like lost souls, or lost children, very unusual for this show. And then we see Rickie, the gay male teen character, alone and sobbing on the street. A young girl (played by Juliana Hatfield) watches him from afar with a guitar, strumming out "Silent Night", then we cut to our main protagonist, Angela Chase, playing the same song on the piano, while her family bustles about talking about politics of gifts and cards. Angela's jealous little sister Danielle comments on Angela's new warm boots, and then, apropos of nothing, Angela makes her parents very uncomfortable by asking why the family never goes to church and if that means they do or do not believe in God. Her parents hem and haw for a few minutes, and then Danielle shuts them all up by saying "Do we have to keep talking about religion? It's Christmas!" Hee.

At school, Angela is troubled by Rickie's bruised up face. Rayanne shrugs it off, saying Rickie has a tendency to get beat up and doesn't love talking about it. I never realized when I was younger that that meant Rickie was routinely being beaten up for being gay. I'm not sure what I thought instead. I comprehended that Rickie was shunned by his family for that reason, and I guess I just thought that he spent a lot of time outside as a result, and stuff happened.

Sharon Cherski is stressed. Brian Krakow is bummed out. In the next scene, the Chase parents are discussing that Brian's parents went on a cruise and left Brian at home. Patty is appalled that they left him over Christmas, even though they're Jewish. Then she says that what she wants for Christmas is for the family to go to church. I guess Angela's questions got to her.

Rickie shows up outside the Chases' house, claiming that he went from Rayanne's to Brian's to there. And he's starving. Claims that eating lunch slipped his mind. Angela knows something's up. When her parents come home and question what's going on, Angela tells him that she doesn't think he has anywhere to go. They don't think it's their place to interfere. He overhears them, and slips out the back door. Not cool, Chase parents.

Rickie runs into Jordan Catalano, who knows a place Rickie can crash, and then reveals, without even asking what's up with the bruise, "My old man used to knock me around too." Rickie offers to light a candle for Jordan on Christmas Eve. Jordan doesn't see the point. We see Juliana Hatfield watching again. Her character is never given a name.

The Chase parents are talking in their bedroom while It's a Wonderful Life plays silently in the background. They wonder if they were wrong. Graham makes the excellent point that they would have reacted very differently if Brian Krakow (who has been their neighbor since he was five) had come into their home with that bruise on his face, and should that make a difference? Patty answers very truthfully: "Maybe not. But it does."

Back at school. Angela still freaking out. Rayanne still telling her to chill out. Sharon still stressed. Brian still depressed. Sharon desperately wants him to volunteer on the help line with her Christmas Eve, and he won't do it. Because he actually needs help himself, and since he's generally a model of a functional teenager (good parents, good grades, liked by teachers), no one notices. Sharon has a meltdown in the girls' room, and to her surprise Rayanne actually listens (while peeing, but still listening), then she reveals to Sharon that she has holiday stress of her own and would rather not spend Christmas Eve with her mom and mom's obnoxious boyfriend. Sharon has a plan!

Angela is in the empty hallways when she hears a song. It's Juliana Hatfield, playing an original song, which if you had the soundtrack, you know is called "Make It Home." She and Angela talk. Juliana Hatfield complains about her feet being cold, because her shoes are worn through. Then she says "You're Angela, right? You're a friend of Rickie's? You don't have to worry. I've been looking out for him." Then the bell rings, and Juliana Hatfield disappears into the crowd. Angela searches for her in hopes of finding out where Rickie is. Instead she finds Jordan, who actually knows where Rickie is.

Rickie is, in fact, in an abandoned warehouse densely populated by homeless teens and runaways. A haunting echo of "Make It Home" plays as Angela searches amongst lit candles and makeshift sleeping areas. This all looks very different to a social worker in the making than it did to a middle class twelve-year-old. Yet it packed just as powerful of a punch then as it does now. Angela finds Juliana Hatfield, singing again, and says hi, but in response, JH silently leads her to the room where Rickie is sleeping. Rickie is not happy to see Angela. He refuses to leave with her, because he thinks her parents don't want him around. He shoos Angela away. He doesn't want help. And I cry, because that's exactly how it is with teen runaways.

Angela then finds JH sleeping, and leaves her own new, warm boots in place of JH's worn through ones. Then she arrives back home, where her family (plus Brian) have put up the tree. Angela kind of snots at Brian for being there, but then she lets down her guard and tells him all about Rickie and the abandoned warehouse. While her parents listen from the kitchen. Their next stop: Department of Children's Services. The man there asks them if Rickie is a runaway or a throwaway. Patty and Graham are shocked that the term "throwaway" exists. Patty looks over all the missing child posters on the wall. Juliana Hatfield's picture is among them. The man reminds them to keep their own daughter close.

I have to take a break. This is really getting to me.

Okay, I called my brother and left a message, combed my hair, took some pictures of the cats (one's sleeping on my suitcase, the other one the gift wrap station-- think they don't want us to leave?), used the bathroom, reheated some pasta, and got a ginger ale. Now the show must go on.

Patty returns to the Chase homestead to find Angela has set the table. Very nicely. For six. Her reason? She wants to bring Rickie and "that girl" over for Christmas Eve dinner. Patty tells her she is not allowed to go back to the warehouse. Angela is not pleased to learn her parents have gone to the authorities, which I suppose is a normal reaction, although her insistence that "We have to warn them" is obviously immature. Patty gets very upset when Angela says of the girl, "She could be me." A moment later, Patty describes the fight with Angela as "One of those fights where it doesn't even seem real, it seems like the fight is having you." When Graham relays that Danielle said Angela went out for a walk, Patty flies at the door.

Angela is at the warehouse looking for Rickie, and suddenly a flashlight is shining at her and she is told "Don't be scared. You're coming with us." When I was twelve, I didn't understand why she couldn't just tell them she had a home and was just looking for someone-- now I know they wouldn't believe her.

Patty goes out looking for Angela, leaving Graham behind in case Angela calls, along with Brian, and Danielle, who wonders why no one will tell her what's going on. I often feel that way in my family. 'Tis the cross we little sisters must bear: the cross of being left in the dark.

Brian calls the helpline. Rayanne answers. Brian calls himself "Steve" and ends up crying because he's lonely. Rayanne responds by pretending to be a phone sex operator. Yeah, okay, guess this episode needed some comic relief.

Angela calls home, apologizes, and tells her dad she's in a basement of a church. Random, but that's where "they" brought everyone from the warehouse. Graham tells Danielle and Brian, "we're going to church."

Patty is searching for Angela, and getting hysterical. She runs into Juliana Hatfield, and comments, "My daughter has boots just like those." JH replies, "I know, because I'm no different from her. I had a mom, clean sheets, all of that. Another toss of the dice, I could be in her shoes, she could be in mine." I never really thought about how that was literally true, that they were in each other's shoes. Patty says under her breath, "There but for the grace of God..." and then asks JH why she left home. JH says she had a fight with her mom, the kind where it seems like the fight is having you.
JH: What else do you want to know?
Patty: How did you die?
JH: I froze.

Patty looks heavenward and asks for God's help. JH is gone. I have always wondered how Patty knew she was looking at an angel. An angel sent not only to watch over Rickie, but to show the others that runaways were not horrible screwed up kids with unfixable problems, but regular kids whose circumstances just got messed up.

And that's the last dialogue in the episode, which is very powerful.

Patty walks into the church and sees Rickie lighting candles. She just goes to him, wordlessly, and takes his hand, and he collapses against her. As Angela enters the room and sees her mother and Rickie, a choir sings "I feel like going home." Angela runs to hug Rickie, and Patty breathes the biggest sigh of relief ever. Great acting by Bess Armstrong. Graham walks in with Brian and Danielle, and Patty looks thrilled to see him. Graham crosses himself before he sits, which is a nice character touch.

Brief montage, wherein we see Sharon and Rayanne laughing and eating at the helpline, Jordan lighting a candle in what looks like a loft, the Chases and company walking out of the church, and Juliana Hatfield watching from above. She turns, looks up, and then flies away, revealing her feathered wings. I wonder if her wings were hidden until now, or if she just earned them? Never thought of that before.

PSA for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, and then credits.

Visuals: 4 out of 5
Spirit: 4 out of 5
Nostalgia: 4 out of 5
Humor: 2 out of 5
Music: 3 out of 5
Overall: 4 out of 5